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« country profiles | Main | coupla notes & the great cockroach massacre »

vacation

April 30, 2003

While discussing my impending journey to DC with L today, it came up that L is feeling a little apprehensive about the trip because he will miss the children so much. While the cynical side of me thinks he's just saying this so I don't get overly bratty about the fact that he gets 2 weeks of sweet unadulterated adulterated freedom from children and I get to drive for days in a smelly van with my smelly kids, I do, in fact, believe that he misses us when we go (and I say "us" even though he claims that I am an adult and therefore he does not miss *ME* when I leave. I choose to disbelieve him on this one, but don't tell him I told you so.)

At any rate, after admitting to his tendency to pine for the children, he issued a challenge to me. He claims that I will not accomplish anything remotely useful if he takes the children out of town for 2 weeks. He claims that I would spend that time moping around the house feeling lonely. I, on the other had, feel that a 2-week vacation from children would lead me to be wildly productive in one form or another. While I might not accomplish tasks or chores, just the IDEA of being in the house ALL ALONE for two weeks STRAIGHT is enough to bring me to a near-orgasm...and I might just feel that it's completely productive to lay in bed and bath and luxuriate in absolute cherished silence the entire time. That would be highly productive.

Sure, I might miss the children on occasion...but considering I have not had a break from them for over 2 years (not since I used to travel when I worked for Kinko's. And well I remember being able to stay up until all hours in hotel rooms watching MTV and other such forbidden delights, like an unshared bed with non-pee stained blankets. Holy. mother. fuck!) I think I would get by.

So, the point of this all is that L is threatening/offering to take the kids to Mississippi for two weeks upon my return from DC. My concern is cy's nursing - I don't want him to wean. I'm thinking that it won't kill me to wait a year or so for weaning to happen first, but I could not. stop. thinking. about it all day today, and I'm wondering if anyone has experience with a nursing toddler being separated from boobies for an extended period of time. Is it likely that he will wean?

Gah. I mean...you know what I mean? TWO WEEKS. That would be so very rad.

Posted at April 30, 2003 1:56 AM

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Comments

Wanna make an impromptu road trip out to Oakland? I’ll host, and I love to cook.

Posted by: jhames at April 30, 2003 2:58 AM

I have no experience in extended toddler/booby seperation. But I'm curious to see what you find out. I would *think* they would wean . . .

Posted by: Melanie at April 30, 2003 6:23 AM

Well, I have to make a disclaimer first because every toddler/mother is so individual, but if he's not using a bottle or other sucking device you probably have a better chance that he won't wean.

My daughter weaned when I was separated from her for four days when she was 16 months old, but then she also was into bottles because I had a day care with lots of bottles. She started nursing again when she was almost 4 when Gabe was born and they both nursed till well past the age of 5.

But when their father and I separated and Gabe was 2, I thought he'd never manage 2 days and nights away from me, but he was fine and it never stopped him. As soon as he saw me from his dad's car pulling inot my driveway, he'd start salivating and chanting about nursing.

I bet if it's okay with you it will be okay with him. I think we can usually tell by how we feel if the time is too long.

And I don't blame you for wanting some extended time alone.One of the side benefits of divorce for me was that I finally got great child care every week. I finally got regular breaks!

But I'm not suggesting that. I'm just saying that if the separation feels good to you it's probably okay for him and if he's not into bottles, he probably won't forget.

Posted by: suzanne at April 30, 2003 8:58 AM

Oh, suzanne...you are making it so tempting! He nurses like 4-5 times a day right now, sometimes less than that, sometimes more. Perhaps two weeks is feeling a bit long for me, but a week might be better.

I have to clarify that I do get lots of time to myself...moreso than more sahm's I know. Moreso than most wohms, too, actually. And consistently. I have two days of the week that I don't work, but I still get about 5 or so hours to myself. (it's actually one of the things that makes living with Steven more bearable, even when things suck between us.) But two weeks with the house to myself just seems immensely heavenly, you know?

Posted by: drublood at April 30, 2003 9:16 AM