Is it better for the kids to experience a mom (or dad) who feels fulfilled on many levels, or is it better for the kids to be a mom's (or dad's) sole source of fulfillment?

I think it is WAY WAY better to have fufilled-on-many-level parents. Being the one source of happiness is a tremendous crushing responsibility for a child - you don't intend for that to happen, but it is like that. Part of a being a parent is modeling healthy behavior - if you only live for other people, even if they are your offspring; it is still not good.

Just my $0.02 -

Marka

Healthy and fulfilled parent is WAY WAY better. I speak from personal experience. My mother has been seriously depressed for most of my life and I only recently realized it. I really do think that my childhood would have been different (I hesitate to say better) if my mom had been happier.

And, besides, from what I've read, you are a great parent! Monk and Cole can only benefit from having a mom who's interested in lots of things, vibrant, active, etc. They sound like really bright and creative kids... and you're a big part of that.

Healthy and fulfilled parent is MUCH better. I speak from personal experience. My mother has been seriously depressed for most of my life and I only recently realized it. I really do think that my childhood/teenagehood would have been different (I hesitate to say better) if my mom had been happier.

And, besides, from what I've read, you are a great parent! Monk and Cole can only benefit from having a mom who's interested in lots of things, vibrant, active, etc. They sound like really bright and creative kids... and you're a big part of that.

i second what's been said. a fulfilled and passionate parent is way better. of course, it's still hard in your daily life to figure out the space and time of yours and your kid's needs. it's always a compromise. still, i believe the interests i have in the "outside world" are something i can and WANT to carry over into my relationships with my daughter, while on the other hand, my experiences as a mother benefit me in those other activities.

Honestly, dru, I say it's better to feel fulfilled overall-- I think that sets a better example for the children, you know? As ideal as it sounds in theory, totally dedicating yourself to your children and not much else, it's seriously unbalanced ( and possibly later on puts too much pressure on the children themselves?).

I hear where you're coming from; I've been somewhere like that, and I wonder, sometimes, too. I used to be so singleminded. But in the end, I think it's healthier for kiddo and myself this way; setting an example of how to enjoy and participate in life, both with her, and outside of my relationship with her.

Another vote for fulfilled overall, not just for their personal development (as long as there is balance too), but more for the fact that someday they will be 12, 15 and so not want you to be interested. What then?

Not that I have personal experience in being too wrapped up in my kids.

Well, maybe a little. :)