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fat and feisty

May 29, 2003

I'm not sure what I can add to this post by fat and feisty that ms. polka dot has not so righteously exclaimed herself, or, for that matter, that Tish has not already said over and over again in her gently persistent manner. but I'm going to try. I guess this is a continuation of a topic that I dropped awhile ago, but am feeling like I need to come back to...and perhaps this is the start of the article that I need to write for hipmama.

While I can't say that I'm fat on purpose, I do know that I will never ever be of an "acceptable" or "normal" size. Which is totally acceptable and normal for me. I remember very clearly having a discussion about my size with my brother, who is a big jock, as is all of my family. He had just finished telling me that I set a bad example for veganism because I was fat. I had been vegan for about 2 years at that point, vegetarian for more than 10 years. I was at about my healthiest point, too, because I had recovered from m's birth (I think m was about 2 years old at the time) and was going to the gym doing aerobic exercises for about an hour and lifting weights for about half an hour 3 times a week or more. I had been doing this for about the past 5 years or so. I weighed about 170. I told him that was probably my ideal weight, because I wasn't gaining or losing weight from there, and I felt physically good most of the time. (I totally miss going to the gym, by the way. It was great to have 2 hours of time to really just work on my body, and I always felt so awesome after a good workout. I walk a lot now, but I would really like to do some serious weightlifting on a regular basis...)

He was, of course, aghast that a woman could feel that 170 was an "ideal" weight. In fact, the discussion was prompted by the fact that he thought his fiance was FAT at about 130, and I felt he was being at best mean and at worst abusive by telling her she "better not gain any more weight after they got married." I called him on it, and I had to hear him tell me that I made veganism look bad because I was overweight. Oh well, hopefully he stopped picking on his wife.

My brother's not all bad. He's not an evil guy...in fact, he's pretty "normal." Which freaks me out. I do consider that some people might look at me and think I give vegetarianism a bad name. I am certain people look at me and think I can't possibly be anti-consumerist because, well, I'm fat - and therefore I must be a super-consumer. I wonder sometimes if the way I look is inconsistent with my lifestyle. And, actually, I've had to call people within various movements on their anti-fat rhetoric and bullshit. Because, in reality, I am healthy. I am careful about what I consume - both with my mouth and with my wallet. You might look at my body and see excess caloric intake. I look at my body and see remnants of two wonderful pregnancies and a whole lot of living.

And I'm not interested in "setting an example" for veg*ns - positive or negative. Because any movement that places an expectation of culturally implicated perfection as a goal isn't a movement that I wish to be involved with.

Posted at May 29, 2003 9:28 AM

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Comments

Have you seen this year's LYBD poster?

Posted by: Roni at May 29, 2003 12:22 PM