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« Mindful Parenting. | Main | A Day. »
I feel like a dork.
May 25, 2003
Because I have this ladyfest wristband, but I'm so totally NOT in the mood to attend any of the events. I guess I was in the mood yesterday, but with the kids acting all hyper, I lost all desire to sit in a room and listen to someone talk to me about stuff. And then I got home, and the car broke down (I think there's something wrong with the starter - because, um, the car won't start...and it's not the battery because none of the accessories are burnt out) and I had spent so much time listening to small people yelling and screaming the last thing I wanted to do was to go to a show and hear a band yell and scream. So I flaked on the show.
I think there's a good reason why I don't usually feel like seeing bands play that often anymore. For one thing, there was a point in my life where going to shows was at least a twice a week event, and I enjoyed it. These days, though, I would be more comfortable being up on stage expressing that rage and that emotion than having to listen to it. And, really, I only ever went to shows to see my friends anyway, and these days, none of my friends really go to shows. So, yeah. Tribe8's a great band, and they put on a great show, but I've seen them several times already and I'm sure I didn't miss anything new. I don't regret staying home.
But today, I thought I would at least attend SOME ladyfest stuff. L told me last night that I could have extra time today since I didn't really go out yesterday. But this morning I checked the schedule and, while all of the workshops seem cool, i'm just really not in the mood to hang out with a bunch of people and talk about this stuff...or listen about this stuff. I'm in more of a solitary mood, I guess. But I feel bad because a) I was unable to really help Rosa Maria as much as I would have liked to and b) I was given this wristband and I'm not going to use it. I still haven't cut it off even though I know for sure I'm not going to use it. Oh, well.
You know what? I kind of have this feeling that I'm not designed to attend these conferences...mostly because I'm just not into sitting in a large group and talking about stuff. I'm much more into intimate settings and discussing things with one or two people. I dunno. Maybe it's just not my thing, and I should stop getting down on myself for my lack of enthusiasm. It SEEMED like a good idea...and it probably IS a good idea for most people...but it just ain't my thing. I'm not looking to network, and I'm too busy trying to figure my shit out to sit around trying to figure out everyone else's shit, too.
So there. I'm just going to try to take a little nap and then I'm going to catch the bus and go hang out somewhere by myself and enjoy some silence.
I hope yr having a good day.
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Comments
do you know tht dork means penis?
you are not a penis