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« Tulia. Still. (or, Justice: Texas Style) | Main | Excellent Resource »
long lost friend
May 1, 2003
A couple of weeks ago, I got a mysterious e-mail from a long-lost friend. Someone I knew when I was 17 and who disappeared without warning. This wasn't a person I knew really well, but it was someone I was involved with on and off at various points in my high school years, and I always had a degree of admiration for him, and I was pretty close with one of his best friends.
There's something strangely (and wonderfully) disconcerting about having someone reappear into my life after 15 years of separation. I'm discovering all sorts of things about the person I was perceived to be at that formidable age, and realizing that I was totally not self-aware to any extent. He tells me things about myself (both intentionally and inadvertantly) that make me stop and think "really?" and wonder if that was how I was perceived by everyone. The fact that we weren't especially close makes it all the more revealing, as I'm getting somewhat of an outsider's perspective, although he is a particularly astute and observant outsider. (I've asked him to write a character sketch of me, for the novel, and I'm looking forward to seeing what he comes up with.)
It's been a tremendous blessing to reconnect with this person again. It's enlivened me, made me more aware of who I am now and how I got here, and I feel as if I've been given a second chance to truly appreciate him, outside of the context of who he seemed to be when he was younger (and I think there were many things about him and me that caused me to keep him at a cautious distance at that point in our lives...not to mention the fact that, along with being completely un-self-aware, I was also pretty self-absorbed, and not really aware of other people). I absolutely LOVE him. I love who he has become, in spite of our immense differences in opinion and philosophy, and through that lens, I love who he was a lot more than I ever did before. If he lived closer to me, I don't think I would be able to stop hugging him.
It all just sort of adds to the joy, doesn't it? And getting reacquainted with my old friend has been a source of great joy for me. I want to sincerely thank him for that. It's definitely one of the coolest things that has happened as a result of this blog.
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