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« For the insatiably voyeuristic | Main | Homeschooling 101 »
"I Miss Papa!"
September 1, 2003
So C has decided that he misses papa, and he has all sorts of reasons for why papa is not here. Last night, he was talking about how he doesn't want papa to go to work anymore, and this morning, he got up while I was still asleep, discovered papa wasn't in his usual papa place, and started crying "I miss papa!!!!"
He concluded that papa must be at the toy store...or maybe he's at the library. Either way, he is missed. And M came in and declared that he misses papa, too, and that maybe we should tear down our house and build two houses so "papa can have one, and we can live in the other one."
It's so hard to explain why papa is gone without sounding selfish. It's not like I can tell them ALL of the specific reasons, because then I'd be bad mouthing their dad, and I don't want to do that. So I'm just kind of saying "mama and papa had a hard time living together without arguing, so papa has his own apartment now, but maybe he'll move closer so you can visit with him more often." Then I added, quite feebly, "At least now you don't have to hear mom and dad argue all the time." This sounds so...dumb. Like I'm blaming them for us breaking up, you know? Like we split up because we don't want them to hear us argue. I don't think I'm going to say it anymore. Sure, I can't go into detail about how I felt mistreated by L, but I also don't want to be TOO general in a specific way. So I'm going to stick to "Papa and I are no longer happy living together, so we're living apart now." and "We're just figuring out ways to try to make everyong as comfortable and happy as possible."
Sunday is the one day of the week that they don't get to see L. I don't feel like there should be any days of the week like this. For awhile, it was because of my sanity...but I have things that help me break up the day, and they just miss him too much. I might mention to him that they are missing him on Sundays especially and see if he might want to rearrange the schedule. I'm also looking forward to him getting his own place so they can stay overnight with him sometimes.
It's such a hard transition for everyone. I'm frequently grouchy and rude...M is whiny and C is overly-particular. I'm glad M has a little friend now to talk to. This morning, he came into the bedroom and said "Mom, I can't get Bailey to move off of the bed. Not even to eat or drink." I said, "M...she's sad. She misses Andrew." and M replied "kind of like how I miss papa."
*sigh*
Kinda like that, little guy. Yeah. Kinda like that.
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Comments
ooh oooh child things are gonna get easier. meanwhile. i think listening to them is fine, i think what you decided to keep saying is fine too but maybe they also just want to be able to express their feelings and know it's cool with you. i'm really glad you got bailey. that gave me tears in my eyes.