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« Birth is a Journey | Main | Blah. »
Well, I think I'm over the flu...
October 27, 2004
Except I am still fucking exhausted. I no longer feel SICK, but my body just wants to sleep and sleep and sleep.
I feel so bad for my kids, who have been doing a great job of, for the most part, being patient with me as a move at a snail's pace caring for them. Cole has a new toy J brought for his birthday, and tons of videos, and we have fresh fruit in the house, healthy foods...thanks, also, to J.
I feel like a freaking invalid, but at least I have someone taking care of me, and I have about enough energy every day to get out of bed and bring the kids to their papa's...Actually...I've made a circular path between my bed, the kitchen, and the bathroom...doing little things to care for the children every half hour or so, and resting in between. Drinking lots and lots of water, tea, and apple juice. Today, I'm going to attempt to clean some of the dishes.
Gah. This is HARD. I don't think I've ever been this ill in my entire life, and yet I'm not ill feeling. Aside from the cough, which is mildly annoying more than anything else, and the occasional need to blow my nose, and very sporadic headaches...all of the really bad symptoms ended when I got the severe chills early Sunday morning, and had a one-time ride on that old porcelain bus.
I think there's an element here of my body being acutely stressed. My body AND my mind. There's just been too much stress in my life of late...and perhaps this is the way my body is forcing me to just lay down and relax. Pare down my activities to those that are absolutely necessary to sustain everyone (we've had some good conversations, if nothing else!) and allow recovery to happen. I'm off from work until next Wednesday (although I am supposed to work this coming Saturday...I WILL NOT if I am feeling at all tired) and, while I could be cursing the fact that I'm spending yet another vacation sick in bed (which seems to happen to me quite frequently) instead, I think I'll just crawl back under the covers and feel my body healing itself.
And, though I'm not one who would normally get a flu shot anyway, George Bush can suck my left one with his "If you're healthy, don't get a shot" bullshit. I can't even imagine if I was working somewhere where I didn't have any sick or vacation time and time spent off work would mean cash shortage for the month. I don't think I would ever get better. Of course, maybe that's the point. The working class are expendable.
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