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« April 2005 | Main | June 2005 »
Do they teach the definition of the word "satire" in public schools these days?
May 31, 2005
Drama Students Learn Tough Lesson: Dubya's No Joke
All went well until a high school senior and Bush supporter wrote a letter of complaint to the administration last week for the way the president was depicted, according to teachers and students. The complaining student added that Bush was also made to look "like an Israeli.""We had one student who was very upset," Lee said. "So much turmoil within himself, he was distraught. The older generation understood the message. I don't think the younger one did.
How about irony?
"If something is bothering a student on campus, we're going to address it. We're not going to sweep it under the table."
I suppose that's another reason to not send my kids to public schools. Sure, a lesson was learned. I wonder what lessons will be learned when we are ALL finally completely silenced by our government. What's the point of learning a lesson if you have no power to use that knowledge to enact change?
Perfunctory Writing
May 30, 2005
An ex and I used to have this thing called "perfunctory sex." It sounds a lot worse than it actually was; it just provided us with a way to connect quickly when there was little time/inclination to connect.
Or, come to think of it, maybe it WAS as bad as it sounds.
Either way, I'm doing perfunctory writing today, because I was just getting into the habit of writing every day when I slipped this weekend and here it is Monday already.
Memorial Day.
And I have no wise words whatsoever to bestow upon this auspicious holiday.
I can tell you this. Coley wrote a love letter to my friend Kate, which included the lines:
"I love you so much, I love you more! I love you so much, I'm driving crazy!"
And I have been thinking about it and giggling to myself all weekend.
Yesterday, I came home and there was a note in my door from the fire department. They said that someone had called in a report of smoke coming out of my house, so the FD let themselves in through my back window and investigated. They found nothing, so they secured my house and left. When I read the note, I thought certainly some creative thief had entered my home and, finding nothing worth stealing, invented this elaborate ruse to explain the muddy footprints on my kitchen floor and the general state of the window area. But I called the fire department, and they were able to confirm that they did come out on a call.
My first order of business for today, once I get in gear, will be to check my smoke alarms.
On Friday, my brake pads suddenly wore down completely...with no warning. I was driving, and I experienced some strange noises/sensations when braking, then when I pulled up to my destination, the brakes were grinding horribly.
Luckily, my destination was Kate's house, and Kate's stepfather happens to be a hobbyist mechanic/fix-it man/you-name-it-he-can-do-it kind of guy. I drove it over there when I was done babysitting so he could inspect the brakes and let me know what the problem was. He did more than that. He replaced the pads, topped off all of the fluids, checked the tire pressure and filled up the tires. And, of course, gave me a lecture about the fact that I don't keep track of my gas mileage and I was low on oil. I deserved the lecture. In my defense, I was ABOUT to get the oil changed this week...but I'm just awful about checking the tire pressure, and I DON'T keep track of my gas mileage at all.
I figured my payment to him, since he wouldn't accept any money above the cost of parts, was that I would keep track of the mileage and create a better system of storing my car's maintenance records. I have completely paid off the car, so I want it to last a few more years at least. It was terribly nice of him to take care of all of that for me. I need to stop being so stereotypically girly about car care, as well as fixing stuff around the house. There are a couple of repairs that I need to make that I know are relatively cheap, but the "qualified" professionals I've spoken to on the phone want to charge a buttload. We'll just see about THAT! HA!
Anyway, I'm about to be inundated with children - so I should go prepare myself mentally for a day of serving small people's every need.
Oh, man...Monk is going to love this one.
May 26, 2005
BBC NEWS | Technology | Sims creator takes on evolution
In the game, players start off as an amoeba in a 2D world, reminiscent of some early video games.The aim is to grow and evolve generations of creatures, with players able to choose the physical attributes of their creation.
Katie, Bar the Door...indeed!
May 25, 2005
"Members, this bill is about hate and fear and discrimination... When I was a small girl, white folks used to talk about 'protecting the institution of marriage' as well. What they meant was if people of my color tried to marry people of Mr. Chisum's color, you'd often find the people of my color hanging from a tree... Fifty years ago, white folks thought interracial marriages were 'a threat to the institution of marriage.'
I might consider moving to Houston just to vote for Senfronia Thompson...go woman, go!
How NOT to spread Democracy
May 25, 2005
BBC NEWS | Europe | Amnesty accuses US over 'torture'
"When the most powerful country in the world thumbs its nose at the rule of law and human rights, it grants a licence to others to commit abuse with impunity."
Talk about being "out of one's league"
May 25, 2005
The difference between Limbaugh and Moyers is as profound as the difference between FOX and PBS. One man plays by the "rules of the game," the other sticks to principle. One man defends a corrupt status quo, the other seeks to expose it. One is a master propagandist, the other wants to break the stranglehold of "The Big Lie." One fears the damage done by the practice of journalism, the other knows that great journalism is the essential element in the making of great nations. One is a Tory who serves his King George, the other is a rebel against the throne.
I can't believe Limbaugh even thinks he has the credibility to launch any criticism of Mr. Moyers.
Why I homeschool, reason eleventy hundred gazillion
May 24, 2005
Because, in public schools, racism is OK as long as you don't bring it to press:
Ahlfinger said the caption apparently was intended as a placeholder until the yearbook staff could identify the student.She told the Waxahachie Daily Light that the label was a poor choice, but it was not meant maliciously nor meant to be printed.
THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is the type of SOCIALIZATION that people are always telling me my kids just aren't getting from the homeschool experience.
While I fully admit there aren't a whole lot of non-white homeschoolers out there, you can bet that when I read this news article to my kids, they will be horrified.
They know what's wrong with that. Do your kids?
The preceding fucked-up shit was brought to my attention by Ded Space.
Women in the media.
May 24, 2005
Amanda from Pandagon gets the party started:
Here's your "liberal" theories of why women are not used as sources for news stories, except of course "lifestyle" stories.
You know, I just realized that the "Beyond Good and Evil" film didn't even address the issues of sexism and racism in the media. I know it was supposed to be about "us vs. them" - but isn't sexism and racism also about "otherizing" to maintain power and control? Perhaps it's not so much about making the other "evil" per se, but...still...
Anyway, rock on, Amanda.
Fu k.
May 24, 2005
The dilemmas faced by the United States persist. We see no choice but to carry out military missions to kill insurgents - but those missions produce collateral damage that alienates the people we are trying to help. We can't improve the security environment until we rebuild the infrastructure and revive its economy - which we can't do until security improves. Of the $18.4 billion in economic aid the United States promised, Iraq has gotten only $4.8 billion.The U.S. government has spent huge amounts, though, on the war. The total tab now exceeds $200 billion, with the meter still running.
But money can't solve some problems. The military is showing the effects of the stresses placed on it, with recruiters consistently unable to meet their quotas, and some of them breaking the rules to find warm bodies. The Army has missed its recruiting goals for the last three months, including a gaping 42 percent shortfall in April. One undermanned Marine unit put up cardboard cutouts bedecked with camouflage shirts to try to fool the enemy.
I have nothing to add to that.
I REALLY hate to say "I told you so"
May 24, 2005
But recaps like this where it's evident that the democrats are not willing to fight for our rights and risk alienating...um...their right wing constituents (?) are why I disowned the so-called "democratic" party in the first place.
Yes, there is value in compromise...however, there's compromise and then there's being compromised.
Gushing about my community...
May 23, 2005
I'm sure it's been at least a week since I went on and on about how very lucky I feel to be involved in the little parenting community I'm in. Last night, my feelings were reinforced by an event I attended during which there was a discussion about children in schools and conflict management.
I don't think my boys even know it, but I really think the small group they are involved with has benefitted them by helping them to develop above-average conflict management skills. I think Kate and Pansy were the instigators of this, and instilled some excellent ideals and tools in their kids, and that was then passed on to me and my kids. In spite of the fact that the kids spend a good deal of time together during the week doing relatively unrestricted, self-selected play activities, the kids get along really well, with only a slight amount of conflict. When there is conflict, they are usually able to resolve it among themselves using negotiation and compromise. It's actually pretty amazing to observe, and the parents are asked (or required) to intervene only occasionally.
Even when intervention is necessary, I have learned from Kate and Pansy that the kids don't necessarily need to be told what to do, but asked. They usually get it.
It's a pretty ideal situation, I think. And I really don't even have to think about it that much. Last night, however, there was a woman at the discussion I attended who was talking about how her church was going to try to initiate a non-violent conflict resolution "seminar" (as opposed to conflict resolution that IS violent?) of some sort for the kids in her community. It strikes me as odd because this is stuff that you really can't/shouldn't train in the classroom. It's stuff that relies upon "teachable moments" on the playground rather than butt-in-chair instruction. I just don't find that kids transfer that kind of soft-skill pedagogic crap from classroom to real life.
In fact, a lot of the stuff in last night's discussion really had me wondering about the mindset of my fellow members of adult society with regard to how children are being viewed. I attended a viewing and discussion of the film Beyond Good and Evil: Children, Media, and Violent Times. The film was so-so in that it really didn't focus on the relationship children have with media enough, and it also did not address any solutions to the issue of media influence over children. It merely talked about how our nation presents a view of itself to our children (and fellow adults, we can't forget how malleable adults in our society are, as well) that is warped to create simple solutions and judgments for complex situations.
Here's my deal. While I do agree that we need to be mindful of the effect media has on our children, whether it is violent video games or the evening news, we also need to be aware that we, as influential people in our children's (and the children of our community's) lives, can exert as much or more power than the media. In other words, we don't need to BAN certain types of media, provided we are vigilant in discussing and, when necessary, counteracting/counterbalancing the information that is being disseminated.
While I don't want to bring more blame onto parents than society already heaps upon them, I really do feel that parents (and community members) need to take more responsibility for this. I was not amused when, in the film, a child pointed to a picture of a man in a turban and called him a "terrorist" when, in fact, he was a refugee. But where were the adults in this child's life to counteract that perception that child had been receiving in the first place? Yes, this is a symptom of false stereotypes manufactured by various sources, but we as parents and community members in a society where children can be influenced negatively are responsible for being proactive in our role and helping our children to navigate the choppy waters in the media ocean.
Just like conflict management, this is something that can't be taught as effectively in a classroom setting. First of all, you have to rely on the fact that the third party doing the teaching knows what the fuck they are talking about, doesn't have some weird, unexamined prejudice or bias, and shares, to some extent, your moral values. Second of all, this kind of teaching needs to be applied and reinforced constantly and consistently, in all situations, so children can truly grasp the profound degree to which they are inundated with these messages.
And a follow up to that one...
May 23, 2005
Another Counter-Coulter Bust - May 4, 2005
Shouldn't the parents of the "several children under the age of ten" be arrested for exposing their children to the obscenity that is Ann Coulter?
Fighting Fire with...swear words.
May 23, 2005
An open letter to anyone who gives a shit about justice by Ajai Raj:
I have no regrets. Was I jackass? Yes. Oh Christ, yes. But here are the questions people ought to ask themselves: Did I deserve to be arrested? Did the cops need to rough me up for saying bad words at what was at least masquerading as an open dialogue? Do the people of Texas--hell, of America--feel that "potty mouth" belongs on the list of punishable crimes along with "aggravated assault" and "armed robbery"?
Now THAT is my kind of motherfucking activism!
First swim of the season
May 22, 2005
It felt so good to get in the water again. I really love swimming, and I proved to myself today that I'm really not as unfit as I thought I was. For awhile there - Oh, I dunno, from February until just the end of last month, I barely got any exercise. I kept trying to incorporate some movement into my daily life, but it wasn't fitting in, and the kids were giving me all sorts of trouble about it. I could FEEL my heart becoming less and less healthy. But I finally gave in and bought a cheap stroller so I wouldn't have to listen to coley whine about taking walks anymore, and now we walk for an hour or so 4 or more days a week. It's not incredibly brisk walking, but it's better than nothing. And on weekends when the kids are at their dad's house, I walk the dogs and (now) swim.
It looks like I can get about half an hour in on the nights that the kids stay over at their papa's house during the week, as well. If I take off a little early from work, I can get a little more.
To me, swimming serves the dual purpose of getting exercise and meditating. I love the sound of water, and I love the way my body feels in water. Plus I have the added benefit of all of those happy memories of summer when I was little - carefree days spent entirely submerged in water. The happiest moments I had with L involved water, as well.
My boys aren't swimmers. They both have issues with water that comes from I don't know where. Monk was fearless when he was 1 and 2, but when he turned 3 he wanted nothing to do with the water. He's slowly learning to trust that he won't drown the instant his head submerges, but it's slow-going. He has a lot of fears in general, so I don't like to push it too hard; I like for him to feel safe. Cole, who is pretty fearless in all other respects, CLINGS to me in water. I think he'll get over that, though. We'll see what happens this year. I want my guys to be little swimmers so bad, and perhaps that's what's making things so difficult. It seems the more attached I am to an idea, the more obstinate they become. hahaha. I have no idea where they inherited THAT particular quality.
Song Lyric of the Week
May 22, 2005
I have this mix CD that my friend burning door sent me last year. It took me about 6 months of listening to it a little bit here and there to totally get hooked, but now I go throught phases about once a month or so where it does not leave my turntable, even though I'm hopelessly ADD about music and need to have my 50 cd changer on shuffle most of the time to feel like i'm getting a good enough variety.
Anyway, this CD is a mix of songs from Beauty Pill and Smart Went Crazy. I am just going to have to go out and buy all of their music. Smart Went Crazy sort of remind me of Mission of Burma in some ways, and they have some of the best lyrics I have heard in quite some time. My favorite that just makes me laugh out loud whenever I think about someone writing it is:
"There's a loud stereo and it plays the soundtrack to your clothes."
That was a huge build-up, I know, to one little line of lyrics. But my point, I guess, is that the entire mix of songs is filled with little brilliant one-liners like that. Both bands. It's sort of beautiful...like when I went me and the kids were on a walk yesterday and we spied a really beautiful garden with a million different colors and textures of flowers poking up all over the place, and perfectly blended, but smack in the middle of the whole thing, looking for all the world like a gigantic blue flower, was a big old purple cabbage. That's the kind of beauty...whimsical and profound, all at the same time. I love those qualities in lyricists and, apparently, gardeners.
Friday Random Ten - Queen of Mean Edition
May 20, 2005
Random Ten for this week:
- Nirvana - All Apologies
- KRS 1 (BDP) - I'm Still #1
- The Fixtures - Man of a Few Too Many Words
- Fugazi - The Kill
- Voice of the Beehive - Sorrow Floats
- William S. Burroughs - A One God Universe
- Freyda Epstein - Dreams of Harmony
- Ryan Adams - Gonna Make You Love Me
- U2 - Mothers of the Disappeared
- Bob Marley - Kinky Reggae
- Los Amigos Invisibles - El Disco Anal
I have to come back to this one, too.
May 20, 2005
I cannot tell you how many times I had the jaw-dropping realization that friends of mine don't get that I have no safety net, nothing to cushion me that allows me to examine a creative career full-time.
All week, I've been meaning to write something about my utilitarian view of relationships, and the above-quoted post at Pandagon really pinpoints some of the things I've been feeling about my current relationship. I don't have time to go any deeper right now, but it's an excellent discussion, and I am hoping I will get a chance to add my piece later today or this weekend.
My schedule
May 19, 2005
For some reason, I almost always wake up about 5 minutes or less before the alarm rings. This is significant, because, since I work evenings, I rarely set an alarm. When I do set an alarm, it's for mornings like this when I have to be somewhere at a specific time, or when someone has to be here to drop off their kids for me. It's never the same time of the morning, so I have no idea how my body knows to wake up...it just does.
I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
It's been a busy week this week, in a good way. Work has been hectic, as I have been managing two sites pretty directly (traveling between them daily, in addition to handling other duties) and I have also managed to get a lot of good exercise in. The kids and I are walking almost every day now. Yesterday I roped L in to helping Monk and me plant a little garden out front.
I'm psyched because C is going to help me get my yard back into shapre. He has a ton of experience doing landscaping, and I think it will look awesome when he/we finish. I am only worried that I will not be able to pay him enough. I've never worked with him before, so I am really hoping he doesn't undercharge me because we are friends. I know what he plans to do takes a lot of hard work, and he deserves to be compensated well for it. My yard is basically an overgrown mess, and I'm sure all of my neighbors will be totally delighted when all is said and done. And I will be able to maintain it better once all that really hard work is out of the way. I really wanted to do that hard work myself, but it's just nearly impossible for me to find the time, particularly when I consider that someone with experience and knowledge would be able to do the job in about 1/10th of the time it will take me.
However, I have been strolling through the neighborhood looking at gardens lately. I would like to have some flowers. I have some nice things in my yards. I have a wonderful sprawling little expanse of lavender under my bedroom window. I have a magnificently fragrent sweet olive tree. I have some lovely sage, oregano, and rosemary growth in the backyard. Yesterday, we planted corn, squash, tomatoes, and some sort of little blue-flowered plant I can't remember the name of next to Monk's hibiscus plant in the front yard. What the hell, you know? Why NOT plant vegetables in front of the porch. We also transplanted the cypress vines, and one of them is already sending out a little tendril. I'm hoping it will vine up the filagree on my porch.
My time is up. I should go get ready to start my day.
I like this Ludwig guy.
May 19, 2005
A Seattle High School Bars Military Solicitation, Touching Off Debate Over Iraq War and Free Speech
Like so many schools today, Garfield grapples with painful budget cuts, loss of teachers, and dwindling resources. The school's opposition to military recruitment seems, in part, a result of parents' growing realization that tax money spent for the Iraq war is money not spent on children's educations or other domestic needs."They're spending $4 billion a month in Iraq, but we have to cut our race relations class, which costs $12,500," Ms. Hagopian pointed out. "That's an important class for our kids."
During discussion at the PTSA's meeting last week, Ted Inkley argued against the resolution because he thought it dangerous to deny free speech to organizations simply because their philosophies or intentions disagreed with the PTSA.
Mr. Inkley, an attorney whose daughter is a senior, told the crowded library he could "easily" see a resolution by some other PTA that banned Planned Parenthood representatives from campus because of their views on contraception and abortion.
Steve Ludwig, whose son is a senior and whose daughter will enter as a freshman next fall, made a point shared by many in attendance: Garfield does not allow organizations that promote illegal activities to recruit students to perform those activities, nor does it allow organizations that discriminate on the basis of race, gender, national origin, or sexual orientation to recruit on campus.
"Planned Parenthood, as far as I know, does not advocate or perform illegal acts. The US military does," Mr. Ludwig continued. The soft-spoken carpenter said he would not object if Army representatives came to Garfield to debate their ideas on torture or aggressive war. "What I object to is their coming here to recruit students to perform those acts," he said. "It's not about free speech."
I need to come back to this one later...
May 18, 2005
Tennessee Guerilla Women: Greener Feminist Pastures
Inadequate maternity leave, along with the absence of maternity-leave benefits, subsidized childcare and economic opportunity were judged to be responsible for the poor showing of the U.S. The U.S. also compared poorly in the areas of teen pregnancy and maternal mortality.Even in the days when many Americans viewed their government as very liberal, the nation lagged far behind other wealthy countries in the provision of social support for women's vital social contribution of caregiving work.
There's much I have to say on this topic, but I'd like to at least read her links first...which I can't do right now because I have to, you know, be a mom.
Molly Ivins Hits It.
May 18, 2005
The New York Times reported on May 1 on the same investigation Newsweek was writing about and interviewed a released Kuwaiti, who spoke of three major hunger strikes, one of them touched off by "guards' handling copies of the Koran, which had been tossed into a pile and stomped on. A senior officer delivered an apology over the camp's loudspeaker system, pledging that such abuses would stop. Interpreters, standing outside each prison block, translated the officer's apology. A former interrogator at Guantanamo, in an interview with the Times, confirmed the accounts of the hunger strikes, including the public expression of regret over the treatment of the Korans."So where does all this leave us? With a story that is not only true, but previously reported numerous times. So let's drop the "Lynch Newsweek" bull. Seventeen people have died in these riots. They didn't die because of anything Newsweek did -- the riots were caused by what our government has done.
What can I add to that?
(more links here)
Ten Thousand People who Applauded Loudly...
May 18, 2005
Mr Bush's speech, delivered with Georgian President Mikhail Saakashvili at his side, was attended by tens of thousands of people who applauded loudly.
...and one person who tried to kill him.
Interesting.
Soup of the Week
May 17, 2005
This recipe is only very slightly modified from the Sundays at Moosewood cookbook, which is like my Bible. There's an extra step at the end where you are supposed to ad corn meal and lemon juice to thicken the soup, and I left that part out mostly because I am lazy. It tasted great, regardless. Plus, it was totally easy to make. Monk liked it, too.
This is why Moyers is so pissed off.
May 17, 2005
A Battle Over Programming at National Public Radio
In one of several points of conflict in recent months, the chairman of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, which allocates federal funds for public radio and television, is considering a plan to monitor Middle East coverage on NPR news programs for evidence of bias, a corporation spokesman said on Friday.The corporation's board has told its staff that it should consider redirecting money away from national newscasts and toward music programs produced by NPR stations.
So, basically, after the republicans are done killing public television, they will kill us all with their godawful taste in music.
An impressive strategy.
Tennessee Rape Law...
May 17, 2005
Pandagon: Update on spousal rape bill
Opponents of spousal rape laws are concerned about men suffering from false allegations of rape levied by wives who want better divorce settlements. I would like them to discuss their concerns about what women might get away with in a divorce with this woman, whose husband is definitely going to get away with this horrible crime.
I guess this is that "sanctity of marriage" thing those idiot right-wingers are always jabbering on about.
Fuckers.
Bill Moyers...will you marry me?
May 17, 2005
Speech at Conference Assails Right Wing
Moyers said he has come to understand that "news is what people want to keep hidden and everything else is publicity."He said that kind of reporting has never been tougher to do:
"Without a trace of irony, the powers that be have appropriated the news speak vernacular of George Orwell's '1984,' giving us a program, no child will be left behind, while cutting funds for educating disadvantaged children.
"They give us legislation calling for clear skies and healthy forests" while "turning over public lands to the energy industry."
He said the public shares the blame:
"An unconscious people, an indoctrinated people, a people fed only partisan information and opinion that confirm their own bias, a people made morbidly obese in mind and spirit by the junk food of propaganda is less inclined to put up a fight - ask questions and be skeptical."
Moyers compared Tomlinson and other conservatives to Richard Nixon, who he said was another president who tried to take control of public television.
"I always knew Nixon would be back," Moyers said. "I just didn't know that this time he would ask to be chairman of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting."
Even though David Brancaccio (or however you spell it) is dream-a-licious, Bill Moyers definitely has a much sexier brain.
US facilitated transport of illegal oil
May 17, 2005
BBC NEWS | Americas | US 'ignored Iraq oil smuggling'
"The US was not only aware of Iraqi oil sales which violated UN sanctions and provided the bulk of the illicit money Saddam Hussein obtained from circumventing UN sanctions," the report said."On occasion, the US actually facilitated the illicit oil sales."
Not that I'm actually surprised, mind you.
I was wondering where he was...
May 16, 2005
On a Bicycle in Beltsville, Blissfully Unaware
When the state of red alert was declared yesterday, the vice president was evacuated from the White House and the first lady was whisked to a secure location. But no precautions were needed for President Bush.
Thanks to Marian Douglas for letting me know.
Divorce Dream
May 16, 2005
I dreamed I heard footsteps in the hallway, and the room to Monk's door opening, and when I got up to investigate, my ex was struggling to get Monk out of the house, against Monk's vehement protests.
When I confronted him, my ex told me that he just wanted to talk to his son (it was late at night/early in the morning) and I told him that it was inappropriate for him to be here.
Suddenly, in the dream, it was daylight. I pulled my ex into the house and said "Look, it would be ideal if we could get along well enough for either of us to just come over and talk to the children whenever we wanted to. For that to happen, though, we have to define and respect each others' boundaries, and you are not doing that by entering my home without my permission and seemingly abducting your child."
My ex began to cry, and he disappeared, and I was suddenly confronted by a bunch of his friends (most of them women) who tried to tell me that what I was doing was wrong and mean and whatnot. I calmly explained to them what I had been through with my ex, and they began to understand that there was much that they didn't understand. Although they still had empathy for me ex, they were understanding my point of view, as well.
Wishful thinking? Maybe it was all that reading I did this weekend about joint physical custody.
Midwifery in Texas
May 16, 2005
I was looking for more information to get enraged about over HB 1535 - my friend Megan tells me she had a letter printed in the Statesman last week. Things are getting thick at the lege.
I didn't find anything new, but I did stumble upon an interesting Blawg.
BTW - comments aren't working due to issues with the server. If you have something to say in response to a post, e-mail me or trackback.
UPDATE/clarification: It was pointed out to me that this post makes it sound like I'm outraged about the bill. I am not. I was basically looking for more anti-homebirth nonsense to get outraged. The majority of this bill is stuff that looks very good indeed to midwives and people who are interested in birthing choice. Generally, however, when bills like this get posted, you get all sorts of fun media blitzes by doctors and their minions decrying and lying about the horrificness of midwife attended births, in spite of the evidence that clearly shows that midwife attended births are safer and less stressful for women and children, not to mention less expensive for society at large.
Who Lit a Fire Under Greenpeace?
May 16, 2005
BBC NEWS | Business | Greenpeace in Land Rover protest
According to a Greenpeace statement, its members "used safety shut-down buttons to cut off power to the assembly line" before handcuffing and chaining themselves to unfinished vehicles on the assembly line at 0700 BST on Monday.Greenpeace said that although "climate change is the greatest threat the planet is facing" Land Rover "continues to make gas-guzzling vehicles, most of which will tackle nothing steeper than a speed bump".
Presumptive Joint Custody
May 15, 2005
I've spent the better part of my online time these past few days poring over the various posts around the blogosphere about Presumptive Joint Custody. I keep starting to write comments, but thinking better of it, mostly because what I have to say is more anecdotal than (necessarily) factual, although I have a suspicion that my anecdotal experience applies to many other situations.
I think my favorite comment out of all of them came from alley rat, who said:
I find the discussions on these posts, here and at Trish Wilson's blog and elsewhere, extremely frustrating. My parents had joint custody, and it was a very difficult situation for me. and part of the reason I do not want to have kids. What I learned from my experience is that parents need to put the needs of their children first. My parents didn't - as much as they probably thought they were doing so at the time - and as a result my childhood was pretty much a total disaster. And so, whenever I see these comments from parents in these threads (usually fathers) focusing on the "rights" of the parents and what parents should be "entitled" to , it makes me want to pull my hair out and run screaming through the streets. This is about the kids, folks. That's what judges base their decisions on, and while judges are far from perfect, at least they can look closely at a situation, consider evidence, and make a decision based on their idea of the best interest of the children, not the needs of the parents. Fact of life, folks, once you have kids your needs are no longer your primary concern. People who don't get this should not have kids. I get it, and I don't think I'm cut out for the sacrifices, so I choose not to have kids. If you're not ready to deal with the sacrifices, you shouldn't have kids either. But once you do, prepare to operate out of a concern for them, NOT YOU.
I like that comment mostly because it pulls the conversation away from the argument over whether this is a feminist issue or a father's rights issue. It's neither. It's an issue that should be approached with BOTH eyes towards the best interest of the children.
In my opinion, it's just impossible to legislate a custody arrangement because each situation is different. In my situation, I went into the divorce fully DESIRING joint physical custody. It was what I felt was in my best interest. I wanted the children to be with their father while I was at work, because it circumvented a need to find childcare for them while I was at work. What I found was that this situation was convenient to me and desirable to papa, but it was problematic for the children. The nightly back-and-forth was not something they dealt well with, and I didn't even realize how harmful it was until we stopped doing it, which is something that people might not get a chance to realize if this sort of custody arrangement is mandated.
Now it's somewhat of a pain in the ass for me to ensure my kids are cared for while I'm at work, but they are so much happier that I can't imagine going back to the way it used to be. I'm fairly certain that my ex disagrees with this assertion, but I can't believe he hasn't witnessed the improvement in their mood and behavior. The children are less clingy, more cooperative, they get along better with each other, and they are more outgoing with their peers and strangers. Monk is even starting to get over some of his fears and anxieties that he has been struggling with for the past couple of years.
So, while you can't necessarily extrapolate my experience to that of every divorcing family, you can look at my situation as an exception that would warrant another look at mandating joint custody by rote.
I don't understand all of these people in comments who are equating the standard visitation order (one weeknight a week, plus every other weekend) with being cut out of a child's life. To go back to my anecdotal situation, the 3 nights of the week that my children now do not see their father are spent with friends, which, to my understanding, is what kids end up doing as they get older anyway. Do these same people seek to deny their children the right to have friends as they get older, as well?
To the commenter who suggested that the custody arrangement be re-evaluated on a yearly basis, I say no parent should have to go through the threat of losing his or her children annually, and no child should have to deal with the instability of an emotionally taxed parent that frequently, either. It's one of those things that sounds good in theory, but in practice would actually be a huge mess. (and, to the New York Times: The STYLE section? WTF?)
Oh, and to this dood:
We also want the mother to provide receipts that she spent all of the CS on the children. Not her car, not her clothes, not her spa treatments. Only the children's expenses.
...Suck my left one.
Ummm...
May 14, 2005
Don't mind me, I'm busy swallowing some rage about this crap.
[link via feministe]
Friday RAndom Ten - Back in Action
May 13, 2005
It's that time of the week again, but where I'm from Chagrin doesn't rhyme with ten (and, yes, I know the meter is off on that. Fuck you. It's 8 in the morning):
- Bikini Kill - Sugar
- Barry Louis Polisar - I Still Don't Like Asparagus
- Bikini Kill - Don't Need You
- New York Dolls - Personality Crisis
- Green Day - 86
- Bob Marley - I Know
- Papillion - Bon Jour!
- Then Handsome Family - #1 Country Song
- Screeching Weasel - A New Tomorrow
- Leonard Cohen - Always
This Should Be Interesting
May 12, 2005
BBC NEWS | Entertainment | John Cleese writing Aardman film
What Joel's mama should have taught him.
May 12, 2005
I had the whole gang over here yesterday. The whole gang being all 7 of the wonderful children, ranging from age 4 to age 9, belonging to myself and Kate and Pansy. They truly are great kids, and they spent the morning playing and snacking and in the afternoon we went to the playground. They FINALLY beat me at dodgeball (I play me against whoever else wants to play, which is usually the 5 oldest, and I usually win best 2 out of 3) and I managed to get some reading in after swinging the two youngest in the baby swings for awhile.
We were about to leave the playground when Monk called me Elvis, and giggled with L conspiratorily. No, I am no fool. I immediately understood that reference. But I asked anyway "Why are you calling me Elvis?" L shied away from me and his eyes went all shifty the way they do when he's telling a lie "I don't know why." Monk stepped right up and said "Because you have a big butt."
Well, OK then. I have never been sensitive about those kinds of comments before coming from my children. I make comments like that all of the time without even really thinking about it, and with no shame. "Look Out!" I will say "Big Mama's gonna get you!"
I guess the trigger was L's obvious guilt over it. Monk had none, although at his age, he probably should know better the appropriate context of comments like that. I have been observing these kinds of comments a lot lately from them. They are not always directed at me, but sometimes I get the sense that they are waiting (hoping?) for a reaction from me.
Soon after that, it was time to march home. When we got there, I gathered all of the kids - the whole lot of them - and stood before them in the living room:
"Hey everyone," I said. "We need to talk."
They all listened, amazingly enough. And I continued.
"I have something to tell everyone...I'm FAT!"
They giggled.
And I said, "Well, OK then. Here's the deal. I am noticing that more and more I am hearing you all making comments about the sizes of people, and I want to tell you that it's not nice."
(and I sort of went into speech, lecture mode when it was clear that they didn't have anything to say)
"It's not very nice, actually, to describe anyone based on their outer appearance. When you describe someone to someone else, it's better to stick with how that person makes you feel, or what that person's ideas or thoughts are."
(at this point, Monk RAISED HIS HAND and said "What if you are describing someone to the police after they committed a crime, and I responded "That's different. If you have to describe someone for someone else to identify, physical descriptions are necessary, but that's not how I'm hearing you all use the word.)
"I know that a lot of you hear people described as fat, or big and fat, and it's not necessarily a bad thing to say. I use it as a description of myself all of the time, and I am not ashamed of being fat. But it's also a description that a lot of people use to be insulting, and it's difficult for people to understand how you are using it."
"We wouldn't walk down the street and say 'That person has a big nose' out loud. We might observe it, but we know it is rude to say it. In the same way, you are not really welcome to make those comments about the size of someone's body. It's not a nice thing to do, whether you are talking about someone's size or skin color or hairstyle or anything. You just never know if someone is sensitive about a particular feature, and it can be hurtful to some people, so it's best to just find another topic of conversation."
At this point, I turned to L and said "You wouldn't want anyone to call you 'bean pole'..." and he replied "Actually, I kind of like that name." And I laughed and said "Well, see...each person has a preference about how they want other people to refer to them. The problem is, you never really know what that preference is."
At this point, they were all staring at me guiltily, so I added "I want to tell you that I'm not angry with ANYONE in this room. I don't feel hurt by anyone, and no one is in trouble with me. But I do feel like some of you are sensing that it's not a nice thing to say, and that you are experimenting with saying those things in front of me...so I figured it might help you to hear what I think about it. If you have any questions, you can let me know."
Whew.
I've been meaning to have the conversation with them for a couple of months now, and I was amazed about how easy it was to do. I'm curious to see if or how it changes their behavior & if those comments will die down a bit. I was told afterwards by P that K's stepson might possibly be getting a lot of negative body image crap from his other set of parents, in spite of the fact that he's an amazingly active, agile kid. He's the one who I feel, in particular, has really been looking for a reaction from me. Perhaps it's because he needed some affirmation about his own body. I hope I helped.
As for Joel's comments about the so-called "fat" woman in the link from Feministe. I think someone needs a big fat mama to set him straight.
Joel, hon, first of all, the woman in that photo is NOT fat. Second, you must keep a freaking magnifying glass next to your computer if you can see cellulite anywhere on her body (I see virtually no lower arm sag and not a whole lot of belly roundness. I see large breasts and a happy, smiling, GLOWING face). Third, there is no way you can assess someone's health by the size of their body, any more than you can assess their character. Fourth, what the fuck gives you the right to come onto a thread called "Love you body" and spew your judgmental hatred?
Oh, that's right, it's that useless piece of flab hanging between your legs.
(Did I say that out loud? Maybe I need to take a penis-sensitivity class.)
You, Joel, are the shining example of what I want my children to NOT be like when they grow up. Thanks for providing the impetus to keep on them.
Every once in awhile...
May 11, 2005
I actually read the google references, and that is how I stumbled upon this old entry of mine...and I thought I would re-share it because I like it.
May 16, 2003
Emotion vs. Logic
Note: i'm just dumping this here unedited because I have to put my mama cape back on...I'm certain there's a lot that needs to be clarified and I know there are one or two redundant segments, but I wanted to put this out here now...because I'm obsessive about updating. Feel free to request clarification where needed...it would probably actually be helpful to me in figuring all of this out.
Emotion V. Logic and other sexist bifurcations
I've inadvertently slammed into a topic of debate that is one of my personal (least) favorites. I'm trying to avoid this kind of conflict right now, because life is far too awesome to bog myself down in arguing with people, and I feel like I need to refuel for the inevitable reality of future debates and skirmishes — re-energize from past debates and skirmishes.
But I can't pass up this opportunity to talk a little bit about why emotion is not inferior to logic, even though many people want us to believe that it is. And why, in fact, emotion is really its own logic, is as valid as any other type of logic.
First, I think it's important that we define emotion and logic. Emotion are the expressions of instinctual feelings. Intuition and passion combine to allow us to express our emotions about a particular topic. Logic is ruled by the brain, where emotion is ruled by the gut, heart, or soul—depending on what you believe.
The problem that many people face when considering the validity of emotion is that, while emotions are portrayed as blind and thoughtless, there is such a thing as emotional intelligence. Just as there is a thing as logical fallacy and ignorance. Emotional intelligence is the awareness of how we as humans interact with our emotions, and how they play into the decisions we make and the opinions we hold. In my experience, it is far more common to make a logical assumption that is unaware of the emotional ramifications behind it than it is to make an emotional assumption without logical awareness.
The problem is that we, as humans, tend to divide the two. The reality is that one can't have logic without emotion, and, in spite of what some would like us to believe, one can't express emotion without some degree of logic. They are not separate, but it tends to be easier to ignore the emotional aspect of an argument due to our culture's bias against emotion. Nothing is objective»everything we experience and express is filtered through our personal experiences and doused with a healthy dose of our emotional response. Newscasters on the evening News shows can attempt to express journalistic opinions with straight faces and give the appearance of being emotionless, but to pretend that there is no feeling or bias behind anyone's version of reality. Feelings are, in fact, facts, and whatever anyone believes or feels is as valid as whatever anyone else wants to pass off as factual, logical reality.
So, why is there a bias against emotive writing and in favor of so-called logical (read, "unbiased") writing? It's my opinion that this is due to the sexist nature of our culture. Emotions are generally relegated to the realm of femininity. Labeling emotional arguments as inferior or invaled is a very quick and easy way for the male-dominated media to silence women or men who are considered "effeminate." This is not to say that all women or "effeminate" men are necessarily emotional writers, but if one side of the argument can claim superiority through their "logical" arguments, it's easy for that side to gain further advantage by labeling the other side of the debate as "emotional." The reality is that there is no difference between emotion and fact. Logic has its own emotion—and emotion is, as previously stated, just another form of logic.
The person who has the power is generally the one who can claim the right to logic. And that leads into another topic I would like to examine about people whose views are supported by the status quo and the assumption that their views do not need to be qualified or defended, but I think I've been talking about writing about that for some time now.
In fact, if you read all media sources as both emotional and logical, you are better able to navigate attempts at manipulation. The important thing to remember is that you must cultivate emotional intelligence to better and more fully respond to the world around you.
And for David, in response to his response:
a) I don't consider myself a warblogger to any degree, so I'm assuming you are not talking about me when he refers to warbloggers. But I don't see the warbloggers that I read as being people who merely link to each other and pull stuff out of their ass without researching in very valid ways what they are addressing. I have freely admitted that I pull stuff out of my ass all of the time, but I consider my blog to be more geared towards self-examination than anything else. I'm just fortunate to have a small audience to either tell me I'm full of shit or that I'm right on - and I consider both responses to be a blessing.
b) How is it a cheap shot that I equate your definition of uninformed with disagreeing with you, and it's not a cheap shot for you to say that warbloggers are arrogant, self-referential, uneducated twits? I don't get that. So, not only is uninformed=not in agreement with David, but cheap shot=anything except for what David says. I'll admit it was a shot, and I half-regretted saying it, but sincerely think that's what you are putting across in your comments.
c) I happen to find independent journalists MORE reliable than corporate journalists BECAUSE there is less money involved. But I have a different opinion of money, corporations, and capitalism than you do, so it's obvious where those differences in opinion lie. Of course, I never made the claim that you are ignorant and/or uninformed, even though you made that claim (at least in a vague way) of me...who's making the cheap shots here?
d) Explain to me why it's invalid to say that emotion vs logic is not at its core a sexist issue. You can say that sexism doesn't exist and that my acknowledgment of it is alarmist and/or overblown, but that doesn't erase the fact that we live in a world that is still dominated by men, and therefore much of the time the rules are set by men.
I love many, many men in my life, and just because most/all of them happen to have been inundated with sexist ideas about how people ought to interact and define what's valid and what is not does not mean that i think they are all vile and/or malicious. I explained this in no uncertain terms the last time we had the sexism debate. Defensive much?
Oh, by the way, how DARE you imply that I need to get you a glass of water. Get yr own DAMN glass of water. hahahahahahaha ;) (um, that was humor.)
e) We also have very different views of what "experts" are. I talk to the experts all of the time. They are the people who experience this world, and I enjoy talking about their experiences of it. Of course, your way of learning and educating yourself are "more valid" than mine somehow because your sources are deemed "more valid." That's fuckin' ridiculous. As I explained above, every source has an agenda and a bias, and no one can claim to hold a monopoly on the truth. The truth and alternate ideas and learning can be found anywhere anyone is willing to a) find it and b) do enough self-examination to figure out how and why it conflicts with what and who we are programmed to be. This includes blogland, as well as books, as well as person-to-person conversations, as well as just about anywhere that one might imagine. There's no special magic place where learning happens...and in my mind, there really is no such thing as an "expert" - particularly as defined by the person with the most years of institutional education behind their opinion. It's all biased, nuanced, agenda-based thinking. All of it.
But anyway...
He didn't quite make it around the world...
May 11, 2005
...but I love him dearly, anyway.
Go welcome Dave Smith back from him madcap adventures, and take a gander at his archives while you are there. That there is one of my favorite people in the whole world. I'm just glad he's still around.
Why Capitalism is Stupid.
May 11, 2005
I recently found myself in a situation where I was in fear for my safety and the safety of my children. I had to do some pretty serious scheduling gymnastics and rely a great deal on the kindness of friends (friends who were also putting themselves in potential danger to help me) in order to continue to work, and even then I had the extreme fortune of having a job where the people were understanding and willing to allow for some inconsistency from me for nearly an entire month as the situation warranted.
I'm quite cognizant of the fact that I could very easily be jobless right now - or I could have been forced to choose between my family's safety and my job, as, I'm sure, many people in a similar situation have had to do with perhaps disasterous results.
Regardless, I am back in the swing of things now, resuming my regular schedule at work and reorienting myself to the long list of tasks that I need to complete. Still, I feel as though I am not functioning at full capacity. There is always a part of my brain, when I am at work, that is chugging away solving problems that are happening at home. I am a person divided.
During my "time away" I became aware of a particular phemonenon that occurred in my thinking. Because I had been told that I should just work whatever amount of hours I could squeeze in while minding the children, I became conscious of the fact that while I was working, I felt guilty, because I was not interacting with the children...and while I was interacting with the children, I felt guilty because I was not working.
I sort of blew off these feelings as being the result of me not having SET work hours, and that's partially true. However, my feeling now is that parenting is an entire job of itself. And while I do realize that people have been parenting and working in one form or another for centuries, it seems to me that child-rearing should be an island up whose shores the sea of work should lap, rather than the other way around.
Like I said, I am thankful that I have the privilege of having a job where the people are understanding. They definitely understood the emergency situation I found myself in, and to some extent, in spite of the fact that we are an organization which serves public schools, they understand my role at home as parent, primary caregiver, and education facilitator of my children. However, I'm still getting vibes from them that they feel I should be wanting more challenge from work, and that I should want to "advance" in the workplace, when I very much do not wish to do so at this point. I am happy to allow for natural progression and I perform my job duties with enthusiasm, and I do take on extra responsibility when it is warranted and when I can fit it in, but I am not anxious to be promoted at this point.
I recently took what amounted to a cut in salary because of this. They increased my hours and my pay stayed the same. I was given a choice. They offered a chance at a promotion, but the promotion would mean more hours during the day, and that was not feasible for me or my family. It was a Hobson's choice. And I can tell that even though my supervisors seem to appreciate my commitment to my family, they do not seem to fully grasp the reach of that commitment.
And I am glad that I did not go for that promotion. In spite of the fact that a co-worker with whom I did not get along got the job and is now my boss, things are going really well in that respect. She is very patient with me and the funky shit going down in my city (oh my fucking god, did I just channel STEVE FUCKING MILLER??) and, basically, she does things in that position that I don't think I have the presence of mind to do.
Yes.
I don't have the presence of mind to do some things, because my mind is divided. I CAN'T work 50 hour workweeks, and I CAN'T come in at any hour requested of me. Those are limitations on me, as a single parent. You might say that *I* have set those limits, and that might be true...and maude knows I have no room to criticize another single mama who makes the choice to do those things and doesn't feel like those choices interfere with her ability to parent. But the fact remains that I DO feel limited. Not by my children, but because of what I feel to be an unnatural demand placed upon humans in our society to make a choice between working to earn a living, and living. My point is that I feel lucky to be able to have a bit of both. I feel incredibly fortunate that I have a network of friends who help me with childcare so I can actually afford to have a job that allows me to parent my children. I feel privileged to have a job that allows for a flexible schedule and pays enough for me to live in this house. My question is...why is that fortune and privilege?
It takes TIME to build a network of friends. Time that most people who work full time do not have. There is a woman in one of my classes right now who is looking for work and taking our computer classes, and she is going to have to drop out of class because she can't find someone who can watch her child for 4 hours a night for the next couple of months. I WANT to help her, but our program, and our society, is set up to keep her down. Perhaps it's not ACTIVELY set up that way, but certainly it's at least a passive participant in the act.
We've all heard the arguments about the gender wage gap. So many people justify the wage gap by arguing that women make the choice to leave the workforce to raise the children. My argument is this is yet another illustration of the oppression of women. Sure, it's how capitalism works. You are paid for what you produce. But I'm looking at my children, and the children of my friends who are also struggling to make ends meet without sacrificing their priorities, and I'm thinking "Why have children become the loss leaders on our societal ledger?"
FURTHER READING:
The Current Situation for Parents and the Work of Parenting
by Patty Wipfler
An interesting article that I do not necessarily completely agree with (in fact, some of it is offensive to me), but that has a good illustration of career creep if you scroll down a bit to the section titled "Postmodern Parenting"
Hi.
May 11, 2005
Can you all tell me if you can see the little photo montage I made to replace the flower in the center column. For some unknown reason, my computer at home is not displaying it in either firefox or explorer.
If you can see it...does it look OK?
Thanks.
Why Can't We Wait?
May 10, 2005
In the UK, they are debating whether or not to include the Hepatitis B vaccine in the standard immunization cycle.
Hepatitis B virus is transmitted by contact with blood or body fluids of an infected person in the same way as HIV.
In the US, it's already a standard immunization administered, initially, at birth.
My question is, why not wait? If a child is not in a position to be infected by his or her mother, and infection is transmitted in the same manner as AIDS, what is the hurry in vaccinating tiny, undeveloped immune systems all at once.
I'm not a rabid anti-vaccine advocate by any stretch. I believe in educated decision making when it comes to the choice of whether and when to vaccinate yourself or your children. However, I can't see the side of people who refuse to acknowledge that the human body was not meant to be pumped full of chemicals, regardless of how beneficial those chemicals might be in preventing disease, from BIRTH.
There might not be any CONCLUSIVE evidence that vaccines are harmful, but common sense tells me that injecting foreign bodies into our children is something we should do with measured consideration and caution.
Look at that chart again. Seriously. If these immunizations are as potent as we need them to be to fight disease...wouldn't we benefit from spacing them out a bit and prioritizing based on risk/benefit analysis? Is it the children who are benefitting from clumping everything together? If not, who is? If they are, at what risk?
I agree with Debi, who posts a comment here: It's a calculated risk, either way. I just think it's preferable for people to have the right figures to calculate, whichever decision they ultimately make.