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« Season of Lights | Main | Happy Birthday Monk »
Lessons.
December 1, 2005
So the great social experiment* is in full swing, and I have to say that this week went by really fucking fast and really fucking smoothly. There were no more than the usual difficulties with the children, and everyone still seems really happy with the arrangement. I'm looking forward to getting into a steady rhythm and finding ways for Pansy to get more time to herself...but this month is full of community and celebration, so we probably won't have any sort of regular rhythm down until January.
Next week, I think, we will start more collaborative learning. We're currently sharing part of storytime (we are reading Roald Dahl's BFG together, as well as our book of Buddhist Tales) and doing the other part of storytime separately. Pansy and Clay have been awesomely sensitive about all of the things that I am awesomely sensitive about, like making sure the kids have time to spend apart from each other, and making sure the families have special time alone together. I think it would be good and enjoyable to bring everyone together a bit more, in a more organized way. They all play together, of course...but there's a great deal of value in learning together, as well.
Pansy and I have had some great conversations throughout the week, as well. It's good to have someone here to chat with on occassion. And both Clay and Pansy have been hanging shelves and rearranging things slightly to create a space that makes more sense for everyone. I tend to let things slide - more out of a lack of time and deprioritization than anything else, but I think I've desensitized myself to certain things just to avoid driving myself crazy...and it's nice to have a fresh couple of sets of eyes looking around for ways to make things a little...better.
It's interesting, too, hanging out with L&A. With the childcare arrangement we had before, I didn't really spend as much time with them as they did with my kids. Now I have a better opportunity to understand the dynamic that exists with the kids and each other.
Mostly, though, what I'm loving is my own newfound ability to just roll with it. I don't have to voice my concerns or complaints every single time I feel something rising in my chest. Sometimes being silent allows things to work themselves out before I even need to ask for accommodation. I find myself panicking at regular intervals, forgetting that the people who are sharing my space now are not the same as the person I last found myself sharing space with. That the people who are here are safe, and with the give and take of our daily activities, it all evens out in the end. It's wonderful to share my home with people who won't allow me to give or take too much - who don't need me to provide constant verbal reminding of my boundaries, and who allow me the space to contribute what I can when I can.
And the celebrations! I'm so psyched about this month! Tomorrow, I'm taking Monk out to dinner and we will be joined by the much-missed J. This Sunday we are making dinner and cake for David's birthday. next week is Monk's birthday party, & shortly after that, we'll be doing our annual solstice celebration. We've also decided to do a casual open-house kind of thing on New Year's Day - so people can just drop by and eat some yummy food with us & maybe even celebrate MY birthday.
So, it's all going really well. I'm about to post this entry and go take the puppy dogs for a walk with Pansy. I feel content. Overjoyed, even. Brimming with possibility. It's lovely, it's lovely.
*For those who don't know, this is a temporary co-housing living arrangement in which myself and my two kids are cohabitating for a few months with my friend Pansy, her husband, and her two kids in my 4-bedroom home.
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Comments
Dru? i'm so happy to read you're happy! you deserve every second and drop of it, and more.
Yay! for birfdays and thanks!!!!