Dru Blood - I believe in the inherent goodness of all beings: Not a Self-Hating Fat Person

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Not a Self-Hating Fat Person - a Rant

April 4, 2006

Dear Person I have to see on a way too regular basis,

Do I LOOK like I care about your diet? I think you look fine the way you are. And, quite frankly, when I eat a carrot, I eat it because I like the way it tastes, not because some dude who will be dead someday (most likely because he is an evil fuck who makes a living perpetuating the beauty myth by selling his bullshit theories that actually result in less health and more sexism) wrote a book that told me carrots will make me Thin and Desirable.

I'm not thin, and I don't give a fuck if you or anyone else desires me.

You are not thin, either, and it makes me sad that you've bought into that bullshit, but telling you that is not my trip, either. When I eat a piece of candy or chocolate cake or greezy cheezy pizza, it's because I like the way it tastes and not because I feel bad about the fact that some narrow-minded ass won't fuck me because I'm too fat for him. Or, hell, because some ass-minded fuck won't even talk to me because I'm too fat. Fuck that shit.

I'm not a self-hating fat person, and I don't want to hear your soft hatred directed at yourself by your constant babble of size-obsessed bullshit, or your soft hatred directed outwards at the other people who also have to unfortunately see you on a way-too-regular basis. And, um, poking someone in the stomach and asking them how they got THAT if they can't even afford dinner is, wow...I mean, I've done and said some pretty crude and rude things in my lifetime, but that really fucking takes the cake. (sorry if that made you hungry.)

Believe it or not, there do exist people in this world who really don't give a fuck about how large they are and how other people perceive their size. I know quite well how I'm perceived. I enjoy experimenting with those perceptions, but in the end, it really doesn't fucking matter to me. So, again, no, I'm not interested in hearing about your diet, or about your fabulous partner who so open-mindedly supports you in your endless desire to be thin and fuckable, just like he likes you. Or, at least, not FAT and UNFUCKABLE...because he hates you that way.

Believe it or not, not everyone hates their body the way you seem to hate yours. Even us fatty fat fatties! So, here...have a carrot. Or a slice of yummy chocolate cake. I don't give a fuck, just as long as you are enjoying it.

Posted at April 4, 2006 11:05 PM

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Comments

A-fucking-men. I've actually heard that same thing, the "if you can't afford dinner" thing. You know, because the fact that I'm fat means I must constantly gorge myself on Twinkies and Ho-Hos and that I eat constantly, shoving plates of food into my mouth like a cartoon.

Fat people are not cartoons. I don't know if you saw the article recently on -- of all places -- MTV.com about fat suits in movies, and how they don't even look like real fat people. Fat suits give people in this culture the license to laugh at the fat on their television screens without having to actually insult a truly fat person.

I do not look like the fat people in television. I don't have multiple chins. From the neck up I've got the kind of face that gets amazed drools during photo exchanges. But at the end of the day, from my neck down, there's a big size 24 body. It's taken me a long time to get to the point where I can say, yep, that's MY body and even though I hate when people make fun of it, I am done making fun of it myself. There will always be plenty of people who are assholes to me. I don't need to be an asshole to myself.

Posted by: Molly at April 5, 2006 11:49 AM

Yeah, thankfully the "can't afford dinner" thing was not directed at me, or I would have bit the person's finger RIGHT off, and said "Since you are offering."

No, the person it was directed at actually laughed, so...you know? What am I supposed to jump in and be the fat avenger? I don't think so. Not in that particular situation, anyway.

Posted by: drublood at April 5, 2006 3:24 PM

I don't think that everyone who is not attracted to obese people is small-minded or narrow-minded.

Posted by: Lili at November 7, 2007 6:12 PM

Oh, and I will add that everyone should love themselves, regardless of their weight. And people should try to maintain a healthy weight.

Posted by: Lili at November 7, 2007 6:14 PM