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« Good Woman | Main | Summer Mix »

Without fear she'd give up and die...

May 30, 2006

I have created a pretty good summer mix. I just need to get permission from someone before I include a couple of his songs on the mix. I am not sure if he would want me to share them, but they are so so so so good, I am hoping he says yes.

I am in the 4th day here without air conditioning, and I have to say I had been so spoiled by the A/C that I forgot how to do those basic thingys that we do to conserve energy. Like, for instance, well-placed fans. I think I am going to at least attempt to go A/C free while the kids are away. My housemate has a window unit, so I am not terribly worried about her up and leaving in a huff (plus she is also really a very nice person...which, YAY! for me for finding such a cool housemate).

I have also done a fair amount of housecleaning this weekend. My kitchen is quite tidy, and I am working on the living room bit by bit. going around the room in a methodical fashion. I am enjoying it immensely. It makes me, once again, want to have a companion here that will just quietly Be Here while I do silly stuff like cleaning and dancing around with the vacuum cleaner. I could save a ton of money if I could multitask my socializing with puttering around the house. I'm a huge fan of puttering, but after awhile by myself, I start to feel all crusty and in need of external stimulus. Some other voices to focus on, rather than just those in my own head.

And mowing my lawn. I actually started working on the front yard today and got almost all the way done before the lawn mower started to smell like it was on the verge of bursting into flames. I unplugged it and turned it over to look at it, and some lady drove up and was all freaked out saying "UNPLUG IT FIRST! UNPLUG IT!!!!" I held the UNPLUGGED end of the extension cord out for her to see and said, puzzled "Um, I'm not THAT stupid." meaning...yeah, I wait until my lawn is like 8 feet high before I mow it down, but nyeesh. Give me a freaking break, lady.

What is it about me that inspires people to think I need advice, anyway? Really, I do know I am kind of a freak and an arm-waving seemingly-on-the-verge-of-catastrophe freak at that...but seriously...if you are so interested in preventing me from doing dumb stuff, kindly donate some money to the paypal account and keep your stupid advice to your stupid self. I'm liable to wave the unplugged extension cord of my actually fairly joyous life in your face, otherwise. Yes, I do recognize a live wire when I see one. Don't worry, I do wear rubber gloves to avoid electrocution. Nyeesh. I am not lacking in wisdom...just time and money.

I had my first swim of the summer yesterday and it was fucking awesome. I got 30 laps in right off the bat and felt like that was a good enough number for now. I am still walking every night and my stamina is really improving. I will probably swim more and more over the summer, but I just don't want to overdo it at first and burn out. I want to swim until it's not fun to be swimming anymore. Today, I drove out to the pool and it looked way too crowded for a leisurely swim so, fuck it. I came home and watched a video and paid my bills. Or, at least I wrote the checks and put them into the envelopes. We have yet to see how they actually get paid. And when. A little at a time. Pressure valve bill paying. The good thing about a three day weekend is only 3 days until payday.

I have decided that I MUST find a way to get that big pomegranate tattoo on my back. Maybe it won't be a full back piece, I don't know. It depends. I need to write up the conceptualization I have and send it off to my friend so she can sketch it out for me. I might not be able to get it by August...I might even have to wait until next year. But, damnit, I need to have a pomegranate tattooed on my back, and that is FINAL. Three pomegranates, actually...well, no...two and a half.

I have thought about a million times this weekend about never ever blogging again. I am feeling very over-exposed lately. Also, it really seems like I am finally communicating with someone on a regular basis who sort of "gets" me without me having to go to great lengths to be "gotten." That is a nice feeling. But tonight I was chatting with my wacky-sidekick-in-training and I realized that blogging is about me and not about whoever is reading this. So I need to just sit down and let the words come. I am doing more private journaling about my more private thoughts, but I still have plenty of things to share, in case anyone is interested.

Speaking of wacky-sidekick-in-training, he had some wisdom tonight to share about love and practicality, and thinking about that conversation reminded me of the conversation I had with my friend S last night about my parenting angst. I was telling S that I have all of this weird angst about not being a "complete" family for the boys - not being good enough just on my own, but not feeling like I really even will ever want to have a partner. S sagely responded that, you know, almost all kids complain about SOMETHING from their childhood. In other words, if it wasn't my lack of a partner, it would be something else. It was so simple but so immensely calmly delivered and wise. I was grateful to him. I always forget that my friends without kids actually HAVE BEEN kids at some point in their lives, and are therefore very well qualified to give parenting advice when called upon to do so. Silly me. Always underestimating!

Germ Free Adolescents
by X-Ray Spex

I know you're antiseptic
Your deodorant smells nice
I'd like to get to know you
But you're deep frozen like the ice

He's a germ free adolescent
Cleanliness is her obsession
Cleans her teeth ten times a day
Scrub away scrub away scrub away
The S.R. way....

You may get to touch her
If your gloves are sterilised
Rinse your mouth with listerine
Blow disinfectant in her eyes

Her phobia is infection
She needs one to survive
It's her built-in protection
Without fear she'd give up and die

Posted at May 30, 2006 12:57 AM

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Comments

What is it about me that inspires people to think I need advice, anyway?

Hon...I think you've got it all wrong. Maybe it is that there's something about you that inspires people to want to reach out to you, care for you, and make sure you are okay. You are remarkably easy to connect with you know, in a really positive way.

Posted by: Shaula Evans at May 31, 2006 3:25 PM

what she said.

a pomegranate tattoo sounds gorgeous! you mean, an opened one, with the seeds visible, right?

Posted by: belledame222 at June 1, 2006 11:28 AM

shucks, ladies...thanks!

And, yes. The tattoo will be one pomegranate sliced in half with seeds spilling out, flanked by two smaller whole pomegranates, wreathed by some pomegranate branches with leaves and flowers.

Posted by: drublood at June 2, 2006 12:32 AM

Hello, I came across your blog completely by random. I was searching for images of pomegranate tattoos, since I've been thinking about getting one similar to this: http://www.skwurl.com/sa/aquarium/29.jpg

Your design idea sounds very pretty and I hope you get your tattoo. :)

Posted by: cristina at June 21, 2006 11:19 PM