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« I am not a mess. I am just messy. | Main | Should I order cyanide, or order champagne? »
ass from head, extracted.
July 25, 2006
I am feeling markedly better now than I was when I wrote the last two posts. I am still coughing and sniffling, but I am not as stressed. I have found that little calm place in my being. That place of stillness where I rest. Hahahaha.
Actually, what happened is that just as I was feeling at my lowest on Sunday. You know, at that point where I started thinking "Damn. No one actually LIKES me. I have NO FRIENDS!" I got a call from a friend, and went out with him to see a cheesy-ass movie at Alamo Drafthouse. We shared a pizza, laughed a bit, talked excitedly about all manner of things. Got silly. And parted ways.
It is so good to be connected. And sometimes I get caught up in creating new connections, and I forget that I am already connected to some pretty wonderful people who make me feel good about myself without even trying. So often I go overboard on "making an effort" with people because, man, people fucking EXCITE me...and I get all arm-wavey and wanting to know every single last little thing and I get totally immersed and everything else in the world starts to get smaller and smaller and smaller until finally it all disappears, along with me, in the face of this fascinating new person I have discovered. I need to quit that. Ha! I haven't figured out how in all of my years on this planet. One day, I will figure it out, and I will be able to flit from person to person and discover things little by little by little instead of eternally pushing for everythingallatonce.
So, yes. My head is now free of ass, and vice versa. And although things are still hectic (why, just a moment ago I had to think. Hard. about where on earth my children are at this moment.) I am moving forward. On the edge of my seat. Ish. Excited about life and all its joys and sorrows.
Yes. Oh, yes. Oh freaking yes.
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-waving at dru-