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Ye Olde Change of Seasons Post

December 20, 2007

It's about that time of year, and I have been reflecting and projecting like a being possessed. And perhaps I AM a being possessed.

I have about 8 more hours or so of work ahead of me before 2 glorious weeks off. Some fun celebrating planned, some surprises for the kiddos. Some alone time for mama...hopefully time to create and plan. You know. It's that time of year.

My life has fallen into a predictable rhythm with periods of dissonance and chaos, rather than the other way around. That has all happened gradually over the past few years, and it has taken some getting used to. I still find myself rummaging around for the basic elements of chaos when things get too "boring," but I am learning to settle. I am learning to be calm. I am learning to surrender and accept. Over and over and over again, I am learning.

I am also unlearning and relearning things. Unraveling that which has contributed to patterns that aren't useful, even if they appeared to be so at the start. Starting over at a manageable point to recreate the pattern. Sometimes I unravel too much, and I have to rework the same pattern to get back to where I need to deviate. Sometimes I don't unravel enough, and end up in another unworkable pattern.

But, you know...it's all part of life. I've been paying attention to things. Trees and birds, mostly...but also people. I watch the couples around me and witness their interactions. I watch friends and acquaintances get entangled and unentangled and re-entangled. I watch people put up with shit that I don't think they should have to put up with, and reject shit that to me seems perfectly tolerable. I am confounded by all of this, so I return to watching the birds and examining the intracacies of tree bark.

I have been thinking about my mom a lot these days. About the payoff and price of living a solitary life. I wonder how much of it was a choice and how much was unchosen. Being unchosen. I wonder about how much of my own solitude is chosen.

I am wondering how many times things can fall apart and come together again before I truly truly believe that things will always come together again in times when it seems that everything is falling apart.

And I am sitting here. Feeling content. Relaxed. Unhurried. Cooking some lentil soup, and cleaning up the house while the kids play some invented game with a bazillion rules all made up as they go along. I'm thinking about the coming weeks that now seem to slumber sedately in front of me, but which I know will rise up like a tiger and devour themselves as soon as I step into them...

and then it will be back to the routine. Which is how things go. And I will ride it all out until the next seasonal change. Learning and doing and changing and fucking up and falling apart and coming together again...

Like always.

Peace to you all on the longest night, and in the lengthening days to follow.

Posted at 12:48 PM • Comments (0) • TrackBack

Choose yr Weapon! (or, What I have done on my vacation, part 4)

December 29, 2006

Today we are going to Target to choose new pillows for our 2nd official NEW YEAR'S EVE pillow fight. It's not annual, because the kids are only with me on new year's every other year.

Of course, to make things fair, I am also getting myself a big old bottle of bourbon or something along those lines.

Anyway, all are welcome to participate, so if you are driving through Austin and see a bunch of goose feathers floating serenely around a house that is rife with chaotic pillow clubbing, you know you are at the right place.

Posted at 10:06 AM • Comments (1) • TrackBack

Dave Smith? Yeah. I slept with him.

April 16, 2006

ha! It's time for the annual peep off:

But Dave Smith, a Sacramento anthropologist who works with monkeys, has eaten hundreds of them, and not because he likes them.
Smith coordinates the annual Peeps Off in Sacramento, usually conducted the weekend following Easter. This year will be the 13th annual event, its sole purpose being to see how many Peeps a person can consume in a 30-minute time frame.

The record-holder ate 103 of them and kept them down -- one of the rules. He then ate a pizza on his way home to counteract any possible ill effects from that much sugar. And yes, he's still among the living.

The Peep Off doesn't have a lot of rules, and the ones it does have get modified on occasion. The first contests didn't permit the use of beverages to help wash the Peeps down. But now, contestants are permitted to drink Pabst beer, and teetotalers can use diet soda. No one remembers exactly why it has to be Pabst, but the basic idea is that it's not really helpful to the contestant.

The Peep Off -- one of dozens conducted annually across the country -- usually draws about 30 to 40 contestants and 20 to 30 observers, always at a private home. One year, the Sacramento police showed up after a rules debate led contestants to pelt each other with Peeps, some of which ended up on the neighbors' roofs (the Peeps not the contestants) and thus led said neighbors to call 911 and report a marshmallow riot.

Peace was soon restored to the neighborhood, although a few Peeps lingered on roofs until the return of the rainy season.

Smith doesn't himself care for Peeps.

"They are the gift you get in your Easter basket that you sort of blow off," Smith says.

He's at a loss to explain the popularity of the candy or the competition, although he seems to hit upon a given.

"If I had a Swedish Fish Off," Smith says, "I probably wouldn't get any publicity."

...you see? How charming he is? After all, I don't just sleep with ANYONE.

Posted at 3:16 PM • Comments (0) • TrackBack

Happy Spring!

March 20, 2006

As I wait for my children to arrive, I'm trying to think about ways that we will celebrate this day of balance. It seems like fun balancing games would be in order. Perhaps building a house of cards or playing Jenga or building tall buildings with blocks.

Monk got a skateboard and Coley got a scooter. I need my children to have wheels, and they are totally unwilling to learn how to ride bicycles. This bothers me. I feel like children should have bicycles. Free children, especially.

In the midst of typing this, the sun suddenly burst out. The mourning doves are doing their thing. The kids are here and I have read to them and we are in the middle of our morning routine, only slightly disrupted due to the fact that it's a holiday for us. I need to read the news and drink this coffee, then take a shower and do my morning writing. Then the kids and I are off to our appointments and errands for the day. We're making Macaroni and Cheese soup (slightly modified from this recipe) together, and if it's windy, we might try to fly kites in the school yard.

I'm coming down off of an amazing week. It's good to have the kids with me again. It's good to have all that I have.

Here are some things I accomplished last week:

I totally met the coolest people on the face of the planet. My list of "people I met at sxsw" isn't as long as some, but it's certainly a nice list, and I'm sure I met the nicest people of all.
I saw some great bands play and expanded my musical horizons a bit. For instance...HEAVY FUCKING METAL, DOOD! hahahahaha. I totally GET metal now. It's just that it needs to be sung in a foreign language so I don't have to know what they are talking about. Plus, I also totally get bellbottoms now. Especially when they are worn by short, skinny-assed, stick-legged guys. With humongous shoes. It makes sense! Totally!
I laid out my tattoo design idea to Allyson, and I think she's going to draw it up for me. I am so psyched about this, I can hardly stand it.
I did absolutely nothing all week that I did not completely and utterly enjoy the heck out of. Seriously. I spent an entire week doing ONLY. FUN. THINGS.

Things I did not accomplish:

Just about every practical item on my to-do list - although I did manage to clean my room and clean up some things in the living room. And Rachel cleaned up and mopped for me.
Finding a housemate. But I did have some nice interactions with ex-potential housemates. And, although I REALLY need to start getting some rent money for that spare room, I wouldn't mind terribly if someone moved in MID-April instead of April 1st. I'm still looking. Hey! If there's anyone out there in the Austin area who is or who knows someone who is looking for a really cool place to live - let me know! We're a non-smoking, vegetarian household. Pets are welcome. The room is beautiful and private, and the rent is reasonable.
I didn't accomplish a whole lot of reading, but what I did read was enlightening.

I'm sure there is more, but I have to get a move on here. The kids are restless and I am almost done with my coffee!

Posted at 7:13 AM • Comments (0) • TrackBack

Robert Arjet on the so-called war on Christianity.

January 10, 2006

Bark/Bite: If This is "War On Christianity," We're Getting Our Ass Kicked.

No, what we're seeing is the furious yowling that you always hear when those blessed with unearned privilege find some of that lovely privilege slipping away. We hear it every time racial justice gets a little closer, we hear it every time the gender equity gap closes a little more. Mainstream Christians are used to bopping along in a very Christian-flavored culture, apparently oblivious to the fact that a) huge numbers of Americans are not Christian, and b) that Christianity doesn't necessarily deserve any more special treatment than Asatru and Vodoun.

Yeah. There's a reason I try to avoid street fights. It's because I'm a pacifist. Well, and a wimp. I'm glad I have thugs like Arjet on my side!

Posted at 9:17 AM • Comments (2) • TrackBack

I'm confused

December 19, 2005

When I was little, all of the fundie/religious types were trying desperately to take the commercialization OUT OF Christmas. Now, suddenly, they are looking for, like, Jesus Product Placement.

Which is it, Christians? You are confusing my poor heathen brain with your mind-change-fu.

Posted at 9:50 AM • Comments (1) • TrackBack

The Solstice

December 15, 2005

We are all set for our solstice celebration next week & I'm pretty psyched. The winter elf is bringing the camera and some computer games, and maybe some books...but more importantly, we're going to get to spend the solstice with friends.

Somehow, I managed to start a solstice tradition a couple of years ago. We all meet up at Wheatsville on the night of the solstice & have hot cocoa (or chocolate milk, if it's like 90 degrees) or coffee (hot or iced) and then traipse over to see the spectacle of lights on 37th street. Your town probably has a 37th street - where all of the houses go all out with the holiday lights. It's pretty cool, and the kids love it. Then we head home and whoever wishes can join us for snacks and stories. I try to stay up all night and greet the dawn. I'm not sure how I'm going to fare this year. I think if I can convince my friend David to try to stay up with me, I'll be able to do it. He makes me laugh, and that's a vital element in staying awake. I have to figure out some good craft projects to do for the kiddos, or maybe some baking. But it's all really mellow. I love mellow holidays.

When the kids go to bed (IF they go to bed. If they DON'T go to bed, I suppose it will happen the next night. Monk always threatens to stay up all night...but never manages to deliver) the winter elf comes and hides all of their presents, so when they wake up in the morning, they have to hunt for things. I'm not sure how we are going to divide up the presents this year, because normally, I don't even indicate which present is for who - the idea is that they have to share everything. I think it will be fairly obvious that the xbox games are for Pansy's kids, and maybe the books can be communal. Plus I would like to get some art/craft supplies. We actually do this every change of seasons, so the gifts are pretty minimal, although I did splurge a bit, cost-wise, this time around. Usually the gifts are sort of the necessities of the season. Like in winter and summer we tuck in and do board games and computer games & in spring and fall there are outdoorsy things like balls and play gear. And I try to get something for the house, as well. Like the camera.

So, yeah. It's promising to be a warm occasion for us. I'm looking forward to it.

Posted at 8:17 AM • Comments (3) • TrackBack

Ho Ho Ho

December 14, 2005

I received an unexpected windfall today in the form of a bonus check, so I was able to purchase the digital camera I have been eyeing for the past week. I was trying to justify spending more than I ought to, but feeling like I need a camera since the one I had on semi-permanent loan from work is on the fritz and it's doubtful I will be able to keep the new one we are getting on the same sort of permanent loan basis.

So, I splurged. I actually splurged a lot today. And it felt fucking awesome. Which I suppose is the point of Christmas bonuses. The kids each got one frivelous gift, in addition to our household camera gift. I very rarely buy them frivelous gifts for any occasion, but I felt like I needed to do that this year. I'm happy that I did.

I also got a new computer for work. It's not really mine, but I get to pretend like it's mine, so that counts. Yay! Expensive toys! (pictures below the fold)

(I also got the 512 MB Memory Card, a bag & some batteries)

(It's fucking huge!)

Posted at 4:43 PM • Comments (5) • TrackBack

Walkin' to New Orleans

November 5, 2005

Well, actually, I'm driving. Anyone want to join me? I have room for 5-7 adults (depending on how comfortable you want to be) and I should be leaving sometime around Thanksgiving Day (either the day of or the day after). Here's the scoop:

Come lend a hand over the week of Thanksgiving until November 27th. That's less than three weeks away!
The folks at Common Ground invite you to join an estimated 300 volunteers from around the continent to converge in New Orleans the week of Thanksgiving.We want to encourage those in attendance to arrive with building & clearning supplies, donated equipment and, if possible, funds that can apply directly to help rebuild and the 9th Ward.

For more information, visit the Common Ground Road Trip for Relief page.

Gah! I just realized the relief party ends ON Thanksgiving. I'm going to see if I might be able to leave the day before. It just depends on work. If I can't, then I am definitely leaving early early Thanksgiving morning or after 9 the night before.

UnGah! I was looking at a stupid October calendar. The relief party continues through the Sunday after Thanksgiving. Which means I will leave either Thanksgiving Day (which I'm hoping would be a good travel day) or the day after. And coming back either Saturday night or Sunday morning...although I'm pretty open to whatever days are best for whoever wants to come with.

Posted at 6:17 PM • Comments (2) • TrackBack

Escape from Consumerist Christmas

October 3, 2005

Redneck Mother wrote about the Plastic Christmas Toy Deathwatch at her house, and the possibility of ratcheting down Christmas to a 100 dollar holiday. & I figured I'd add some of my thoughts on our process of escaping the consumerestiest holiday of the year.

The first thing I did was change our holiday from Christmas to the change of seasons. As a non-Christian, this was pretty easy for me to do...and the kids didn't really care too much. They still get some gifts, but now the seasonal fairy/elf hides the gifts on the first day of every new season. Moreover, the seasonal fairy/elf usually gets used gifts & books & educational supplies more than toys. So now, rather than concentrating all of the gift giving on one holiday that has only marginal (at best) spiritual significance to our family, we spread the joy throughout the year. & hiding the presents allows the kids the element of surprise...they actually usually give up looking long before the last item is unearthed. Not only do we benefit this way, but we are also more in tune with the changing seasons, and the significance of those changes. As we've slowly weaned off of Christmas, I have been able to ratchet down the spending, little by little, without encountering any disappointment.

For Winter solstice, we also have begun a tradition of meeting friends for a walk around the spectacular light display on the houses on...er...34th street? I can't remember the street, but that street off of the northern part of the drag where everyone goes all out. It's much better, IMO, than the Zilker lights, and we generally are able to make a night of it by having hot chocolate at Wheatsville, meeting up with people, and then traipsing home to see if we can stay up & greet the sun after the longest night.

Potlucks are a great way to gather together and have great food without taking a huge hit.

& this is a work in progress for me, but I am trying to narrow down our toy retention to a few major categories. I posted this on Bark/Bite, as well...but around here the most popular toys are:

Legos
Lincoln Logs
a box of poker chips (they use these for all sorts of things, including play money, stacking, pattern making, and ephemeral mosaic art...it's actually pretty amazing how many purposes poker chips serve around here...we even play a hockey game with them sometimes, sort of like air hockey only without the air)
Wood Pattern Blocks
Board games

I'm thinking about really really working on culling the remaining toy population & sticking with those basics. We do have a lot of stuff here, so it's not like I'm speaking from a position of "less plastic crappier than thou" or anything. I have started to require that the children give things away (and because I'm somewhat of a freak, I set the target as one thing for every year of their age) at the start of every season, as well.

Extended family gets homemade mix CDs & drawings from the kids & pictures of the family. When I have a little more money to spend, I'll probably send every family a book that we've enjoyed reading together over the year, or perhaps something created by an independent artist. Something that has meaning to me, personally, that I can share with them. I know that's backwards, and I'm supposed to buy people something that means something to THEM...but that's where things get spendy & if I can come up with 2-3 ideas of things that are not produced by big businesses, I can generally match up the family member with SOMETHING they would enjoy & I'm giving the gift of a treasure they might not have discovered on their own. I don't think I'll have enough money for that this year, though...so it's homemade mixes again. & this time I need to send them in boxes so they won't break.

I think that's about it. Any other ideas out there for cutting consumerism at Christmastime?

Posted at 8:30 AM • Comments (3) • TrackBack

"Happy Mother's Day, You Mother."

May 9, 2005

I hope you all had a fabulous Mother's Day.

I'm so delighted to note that our motherfucking military paid its respects.

Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
We, the women of one country,
Will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."

From the voice of a devastated Earth a voice goes up with
Our own. It says: "Disarm! Disarm!
The sword of murder is not the balance of justice."
Blood does not wipe our dishonor,
Nor violence indicate possession.
-Julia Ward Howe

Posted at 8:44 AM • Comments (2) • TrackBack

Ramadan

November 12, 2004

The Morning News - Letters from Egypt: Ramadan and Firecrackers

Imagine if 90 percent of New Yorkers agreed to give up eating, drinking, smoking, and sex during daylight hours for an entire month. I can see the city flooded with an impenetrable cloud of frustration and exasperation, people racing to destinations faster than usual, no coffee carts in the morning, no groups of smokers at the doorways of office buildings. But in Cairo—Egypt’s teeming capital, a quilt of disparate neighborhoods, with the largest Muslim population of any city in the world—approximately seven million citizens are currently observing a daytime fast, because until Nov. 14 it is Ramadan, the ninth month of the Muslim lunar calendar, which is devoted to contemplation and putting aside the concerns of daily life.

Ramadan fascinates me. The idea of not eating during daylight hours seems almost achievable to me, but not being able to drink anything, not even water, seems nearly impossible.

For an entire month.

I like this article because it answers a lot of the questions I've been tempted to ask my boss, who is muslim. I haven't asked him, because it seems cruel to talk about how hungry someone must be when they are in the middle of a fast, you know?

Posted at 1:03 PM • Comments (4) • TrackBack

i can't believe I haven't written anything abut columbus day this year...

October 11, 2004

Or, rather, Indigenous Peoples' Day

There's something lately...with me...that prevents me from remembering events and really discussing political issues in any depth. I think it has to do with the fact that I'm reevaluating my life goals and I'm very self-centered these days. I'm hoping I grow out of it.

Regardless, and in the meantime while I'm too freaking self-absorbed to actually come up with my own words on the subject...perhaps some other people's words will do.

(more links to come...looks like there aren't a lot of people blogging about columbus day today.)

Posted at 5:07 PM • Comments (0) • TrackBack

Diversity Calendar

August 27, 2004

Global Diversity @ Work - Diversity Calendar

(I'm running out of room on my calendar, so I'm finding sites with good collections of global holidays to give myself opportunities to discuss different cultures with the kids.)

Posted at 11:23 PM • Comments (0) • TrackBack

Solstice

June 10, 2004

I know it's a couple weeks away yet (about a week and a half, unbelievably) but we are cracking open Circle Round today to read about the Summer Solstice.

The Summer Solstice is the longest day and shortest night of the year. The sun has grown to its full strength, and summer begins. Even as we enjoy swimming and picnicking, we know that the days will begin to get shorter again as soon as Solstice passes.
The Summer Solstice reminds us that nothing lasts forever. We do not live in the unchanging twilight realm of Faery, but in the living, dying, fading, and growing realm of earth. Whenever something is completed, we must let it go.

Because the things we love don't last forever, we love them all the more while they are here.

But letting go of things and people we love is never easy. The Summer Solstice is a time to practice giving things away, letting go of what is completed and done - whether it's our old toys, a flower, or a part of our life, like being a baby or a little kid."

The children will be with their father Solstice weekend, and I will form my own rituals of giving. When they return, I'm thinking we will write down the feelings/ideas we want to give away and burn them. I think it will be very healing for all of us.

Posted at 12:02 PM • Comments (2) • TrackBack

Equinox

March 23, 2004

I can't believe I haven't yet written about our wonderful first day of spring/vernal equinox celebration. Perhaps because it was far more understated than the glorious solstice celebration. Still, it was nice...and the children enjoyed themselves, and we all managed to have some good fun and good food.

Since I invent all of my own holidays by conglomerating my favorite things about other holidays and celebrations...and since L has the kids all day on Saturday, which is the day the vernal equinox actually occurred, we celebrated on Sunday.

Saturday night, the spring fairy came and hid some little things here and there for the kiddos. Books, mostly. Cuisenaire rods, some odds and ends that have ended up in the gift box one way or another. And the sandbox that the spring fairy picked up off the freecycle list. The sandbox was a score. The very definition of score. As well as a few yummy chocolatey things.

So, the kids traipsed about the house, finding hidden treasures, while I lounged a bit, then cleaned up a bit. Then we all enjoyed the nice weather while I listened to NPR and other public radio programs, and busied myself with cleaning up.

At around 1 or so, J arrived. The spring fairy had brought the kids some kites - a cute bat kite for Coley, and a beginner stunt kite for Monk. The plan was to take the kids across the street to fly kites, but first they had fun smashing cascarones all over each other.

Unfortunately, it wasn't quite windy enough to get the kites really up and going. There was some frustration, but we all ended up containing it and having a semi-enjoyable afternoon. I'm kind of struggling with a sometimes overwhelming amount of irritation and frustration with Coley because, well...because he's three and he likes to do a lot of tempter tantrumming and whining and destroying...not to mention a great deal of waking up at 2 in the morning screaming - which doesn't really help me get enough sleep to maintain patience for the rest of the behavior that follows when the day is new. But we sorted things out, and salvaged the day, and came home.

It seemed to click better once we got home. Monk taught J how to roll egg rolls, and they helped Cole do a few, and J fried them up while I prepared the "cosmic" soup (which is creamy corn soup from Sundays at Moosewood coookbook). And so we enjoyed egg roll appetizers and then J and I had some corn soup and the kids played and J read to them and played Stratego with Monk and had fun.

Then at some point, J left...and I put the kids to bed and I think I fell asleep watching Dangerous Liaisons on television and I think this recount of the day would be a lot happier sounding if I wasn't trying to simultaneously write it, keep my nose from dripping copious amounts of snot on the keyboard, clean up a spill and some pee from Coley, make lunch, and battle fatigue all at the same time.

Maybe I should go back to just posting links to news items and other blogs. I just don't have it in me right now to do anything requiring any amount of concentration.

Blah.

Posted at 11:33 AM • Comments (6) • TrackBack

Which Tuesday is it?

February 24, 2004

Is it Fat Tuesday:

Fat Tuesday is Mardi Gras, the festival New Orleans, Louisiana, is famous for. "Gras" is French for fat and "Mardi" is French for Tuesday.

[link courtesy of Tish]

Or is itGrey Tuesday:

I carried the album's MP3 around on a USB key and left copies of it where I could. The DJ at Boujis played an original Jay-Z album cut and I thought about giving him a copy of the remix, but I didn't have the digital music in the disco. I thought about buying it on CD for my brother, but I couldn't - the Beatles didn't clear the samples, and they wouldn't. It's too much weirdness done to a tightly preserved legacy.

[more information here]

Posted at 1:56 PM • Comments (1) • TrackBack

Happy Solstice

December 22, 2003

It has been the most wonderful holiday in recent memory for me. I've struggled over the years to invent meaningful, ritualized holidays that the kids can enjoy, and it's so difficult because I just don't "feel it" with a lot of the traditional celebrations. I don't consider myself to be a pagan, either, so I can't just replace the proto-traditional with the actual-traditional and call it a day. Instead, I feel like I need to combine my ideas of what constitutes a perfect holiday and invent a sort of mishmash of fun and excitement for the kiddos that will still allow for joy and relaxation for me.

This solstice celebration was inspired by the fact that I spend much of my vacation sick in bed. I had been intending to do a lot of crafts, making gifts for the kids in my family who celebrate Christmas, as well as creating mix CDs for the older kids and grown ups on my growing list of people to whom I owe a debt of gratitude and appreciation that I'm sure I will never be able to repay.

I didn't get around to it.

As I began to consider what I would do to celebrate the solstice this year, I considered that the mythical relationship with earthly events is something that I can definitely identify with. I understand and appreciate the need to mark the longest night, the shortest night, and the equal night, as well as the phases of the moon. And I totally dig on creating a ritual to symbolize the importance of these events. So, in crafting my version the celebration of the longest night, it dawned on me that if I was going to stay up all night to keep vigil over the candlelight that would bring back the sun, I might as well use my awake time to undertake some of the creative projects that have been back-burnered due to illness. In other words, I would stay up all night and make the mix cd's, cookies, and homemade gifts that I would be giving to friends and family to celebrate the beginning of a new year.

And so, the plan was to invite some friends over to keep me company during this longest night, and to allow the children to stay up as late as they wished, and, because I have this sense that there's magic in the childhood ritual of expectation of gifts - and the joy in the fulfillment of that expectation, there would be a visit from the winter elf.

There would also be shared company, viewing of lights, and a sense of unhurried calm. The unhurried calm part is particularly difficult AND particularly important to me.

And so it was that the skeletal plan of our day emerged. We had been invited to a cookie decorating party at 2, after which we planned to take the bus down to the drag in Austin and meet up with friends to see the ostentatious and artful 37th street neighborhood holiday lights display, and then we were to come home and hang out with whoever was brave enough to join us in our nightlong celebration.

Things didn't go exactly as planned, but it was wonderful, nonetheless. We arrived at the cookie party a bit late, but the kids had fun, and I enjoyed the company of Megan, as well as some other mama friends who I haven't seen in awhile. We stayed for a couple of hours, and I realized that I couldn't just catch the bus right from there because we were all dressed all in dark clothing and didn't want to be wandering the streets at night like that. So we headed home and intended to change clothes and move right on out, but in the brief time that I spent rooting around for something to wear, Coley fell asleep. Hard. And I didn't want to wake him.

So the plan changed to us driving down to the drag. We had friends we were going to meet, so we did have a bit of a time constraint. I didn't want to stress out over time, but I also didn't want to miss seeing our friends.

While I was readjusting our schedule in my head, I heard my cat meowing out on the front porch, and opened to door to see my wonderful friend Jennifer standing there with a lovely little gift bag for me (!) She is such a sweetheart. Her daughter had also fallen asleep, but they were planning on heading down to the drag as well. I told her our plans had also changed and that I hoped to see her down there. Inside the gift bag was the most delightful little handmade bag with a rejuvenating eye pillow and the most beautiful collage notecards I think i have ever seen. It was truly wonderful and such a surprise. And the eye pillow came in handy later in the evening.

Shortly after Jen left, Coley awoke, and I set about getting everything together to head down to the drag. Dog shuffling, shoe donning, door locking, house checking, and out the door. I had left a message for the fabulous Susan (of comments fame) and her partner, Steve - hoping to meet up with them down there. I wasn't sure if they were going to make it, but I was thrilled to be meeting up with friends K and S and their 4 lovely children.

We met up at Wheatsville. I had parked a few blocks away, anticipating that I wouldn't want to walk far AFTER seeing the lights, and as we stepped onto the patio at Wheatsville, my phone rang. It was Steve, saying that they just got my message, and they were going to hurry up and meet up with us at Wheatsville. As I was talking to him, S walked out of the store, and I waved. We decided to get coffee and cocoa before seeing the lights, while we waited for the arrival of Susan and Steve.

It was fun. K&S and their family are such a great group of people to be around. K is smart, funny, kind of cynical, very sweet, and she is just my mama goddess because...I mean, she has 4 of the coolest, most boisterous, outspoken, wonderful kids I know. It's refreshing and exhausting and exhilirating to be around them, all at once. S, her husband, is just a super nice guy, too. I enjoy them all so much.

A funny story (although I'm sure K was totally embarrassed and I hope she's reading this so she knows that I thought it was truly very funny and no big deal at all - and if she doesn't read this, I'm going to bring it up when we go to the movies on Friday) - I saw a friend of mine while we were eating outside of wheatsville (wheatsville is one of theose places that you can't go to without meeting or seeing several people you know and haven't seen in awhile. I have so many fond memories of seeing people at wheatsville...It's just a great place.) Anyway, this friend of mine and I hadn't seen each other in awhile, so he asked the obligatory question - "How have you been?"

S, K's eldest son, blurted out "Her husband isn't living with them anymore!"

hahahahahaha. K looked like she was about to die, but I was really trying hard not to laugh. I'm not even sure if my friend heard him, but it was just a very funny moment.

Anyway, so we all enjoyed our coffee/hot cocoa/lemonade and then Susan and Steve arrived and we all headed out to see the lights together - except for K, who went off to pick up her daughter from a church function.

The lights display was nice. It was really crowded, but I didn't mind so much. The kids had a blast. I got Monk a glowstick, since he's been begging for one since I didn't get him one on the 4th of July. I figured since it's a celebration of light (or the lack thereof), a glowstick fits right into our ritual.

There's really no describing the lights on these houses on 37th street. There's a house that has a mock volcano (made out of lights) which erupts every 10 minutes or so. There's a house that has a whole yardful of artful lights strung every which way. People leave dollar bills hanging on a clothesline to help defray the cost of electricity. And, yes, it's excessive and probably bad for the environment and probably what our soldiers are dying for in Iraq...but...um...the kids had a lot of fun. If that counts for anything.

We were there for at least an hour, shuffling up and down the street with the thousands of other visitors. And then we said goodbye to K and S and the kids, and parted ways with Susan and Steve, who were going to meet up with us at my house to see how much of the all-nighter they could participate in.

Me and the kids got home and discovered that while we were gone, Twyla had dumped some of the cookie ingredients on the floor in search of something yummy. she chewed up a baggy filled with walnuts, but apparently found the nuts themselves not to her liking. It seemed like she had sniffed at the almonds and decided against them. I was pissed, but it could have been worse.

So I put the dogs out, and set about making cookies and lighting candles and preparing for guests. I had asked my friend John to join us in our holiday celebration, and he bravely agreed. John's good like that. He's also very good company, which is always nice. Plus my dogs love him. And vice versa. John's just...well, let's just say it's a joy to have him in my life. He said he would be right over. See...I like that in a man.

At any rate...Susan and Steven came over, and Monk instantly grabbed Steve and made him play yu-gi-oh with him, and then John arrived and played with the dogs a bit - he brought them treats. Isn't he swell? And then he disappeared back into the yu-gi-oh room and later monk emerged and said "look, mom - the girls are in the kitchen and the boys are all in the playroom." And me and susan looked down and realized that there we were baking cookies and knitting while Steve and John were playing, well, cards...with the kids in the living room. It was funny.

Cookies were baked, laughter was had...Steve and I spent about 3 hours trying to one-up each other on cool people we have met and/or cool bands we have seen. It got kind of intense for awhile there, and I'm not quite sure who ended up trumping whom. But then Susan completed her knitting project, which was a pair of sparkly gold wonder woman wrist cuffs (complete with red stars)...so i think she wins. She rules. I have not taken the wrist cuffs off, except to shower, since I put them on. I feel Wonderful and Invincible.

Monk and Cole evidently took me seriously when I told them they could stay up all night. They were bopping around the house making merry until I finally got tired of it and insisted that Monk go read a book. Within minutes, he was crashed. I think it was like 2 AM. Coley was still windmilling about the living room, having outlasted Susan and Steve, who left shortly after Monk passed out.

I double-dared John to stay up with me, and he rose to the challenge. I finally convinced coley that the best thing to do when one wants to stay awake all night is to watch a video (har har) and within minutes there were two bodies sprawled out on the playroom floor.

John helped me drag out the binful of toys and books I'd been gathering since the last holiday, and we looked through things to decide what to hide for the kids. Then we hid. John did a better job of hiding things than me. MOnk STILL hasn't found his "he's going to shit over it" gift, and I think that's a good thing. He was so pleased that he got a bionicle that he spontaneously started believing in the winter elf again ("sort of").

John left shortly after the sun came up. He was awesome company, and he helped me make some headway on the gift making. I didn't get as much done as I had planned because the kids stayed up so late, but that was ok. I still have time to do things, and it's not like there's an expiration date on sending out little gifts to family members. I'm just trying to take it easy.

Anyway, around about 8 or so, I told Monk that I Just had to take a little nap. I laid down and woke up when the phone rang around 8:45. My friend from alaska was calling to once again try to get together with me. We had been trying to get together since she got into town on Saturday, but she had so much going on with family that it just wasn't possible. Finally it was decided that I would go out there to Georgetown to visit her today. Her grandmother was making veggie lasagna! Noway I would turn down lasagna even on no sleep. So I told her that I needed to rest a bit and would be out there around noon, and then crawled into bed and totally blacked out until 11 or so.

I'm not sure how I managed to get up, get the kids ready, and get out the door (later I discovered that I had put cole's shoes on the WRONG FEET). I fed the kids m&m's and cookies for breakfast because I was really too tired to argue.

Seeing Jeanne was so nice. Her family is lovely. I felt comfortable around her relatives and her partner and her kids, and it was like old times. Jeanne was like the first mama friend I made after I had Monk. TWO YEARS after I had Monk. I basically had no community during those first few years, and it was bad bad horrible. All mamas should have friends like Jeanne to induct them into mamahood. She's rad and cool and gentle and kind. Remember when I said that I knew I would feel energized whenever I got to see Jeanne again? I totally do. Right now. She's just such a force of goodness and inspiration in my life. I love her dearly. And I really wish I could have spent a lot more time with her (and I just realized that I didn't thank her grandmother for a lovely meal - I was so out of it while I was there that I'm amazed that I remembered to bring my kids home! I should call and thank them now.) but we had to get back because it was getting to be the time when L comes over to watch the kids. Hugs, hugs, more hugs, goodbyes and "don't stay away so long next time - and when you come back, make it be for weeks instead of days!"

I got home and L was waiting and I crashed in bed, thinking that was probably enough joy and kinship to bouy me into the new year. But when I woke up there were cards in the mailbox and money from mom and I called her and cried. And even though she's not perfect, she's my mama. And even though she makes mistakes, I love that woman. She's a strong women, strong-willed and strong of fortitude. I admire her and I am endlessly frustrated by her, but I love her dearly.

I took the money she sent me and took myself out to dinner at Thai Village. They have a spicy basil tofu dish there that is one of my favorite things to eat of all time. It was heavenly, and my waiter was so nice. It was a great self-date.

And, now, here I am after all of this. I'm sitting in a coffee shop - almost time for me to go home. I'm thinking about having a slice of cake, but thinking I have cookies at home and more cookies to bake. I'm thinking about all of the wonderful people in my life and all that they have brought to me - all that has been given. And I'm thinking about how to give back. To give and give and give. I understand that there is an ebb and flow - that all people have periods of taking and periods of giving. I feel so full of love and life right now. It's truly a beautiful thing.

Tonight will be long again, and I will sleep peacefully through it. Last night's vigil candle melted all over the beautiful plate that I used as it's holder and tonight I will allow darkness to descend upon my house because I know that in the morning - maybe late in the morning, but in the morning nonetheless, the sun will poke out from behind the clouds and we will enjoy another day's adventures together.

Peace to all of you. I hope you are enjoying whatever you are engaged in at this time of year.

Posted at 7:51 PM • Comments (3) • TrackBack

Autumnal Equinox

September 23, 2003

Gateway to Winter
The Autumnal Equinox marks the beginning of shorter days and longer nights. We gather with friends to strengthen our spirits in preparation for the passage into Winter. But it is a time of thanksgiving, for on the other side of that dark Winter is Spring.[source]

Somehow, autumn seems to be the perfect time of year for my personal revolution. I've always been a fan of naturally-occuring metaphor. The kids have new paints and used books, I have a whole new life to look forward to. It's all about renewal, isn't it? The trees shed their leaves to stay alive during winter. It's the gentlest kind of survival instinct.

More Equinox Sites:

The Electronic Sky

Mabon

wikipedia

Posted at 9:59 AM • Comments (1) • TrackBack

Happy Solstice...

June 21, 2003

I forgot to wish everyone a nice, lazy, hot, unproductive, sweaty summer.

Except those in the Southern hemisphere, who I hope have a nice, lazy, cold, unproductive, chilly winter.

The long days will make my drive that much easier.

Happy solstice!

Posted at 3:50 PM • Comments (0) • TrackBack