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Plans
August 8, 2007
I am nearing the end of my precious time of solitude, and I have a lot of thoughts about what I need to do from this point forward. Whenever I think about what I want, and feel a strong inclination towards something, I wonder about this inability some people have to know or act upon what they want. For me, the act of writing something down feels like I am exposing myself as a possible hypocrite if I don't follow through or if I change my mind.
The thing is, I think some people get hung up. They think knowing what one wants means knowing all of the whys and hows of achieving it, as well as all of the potential outcomes. Rather than acting, they calculate the odds and worry over strategies. And it's not always the other person they worry about...it's their own shifting desires. What if I want something, start to work towards it, and then change my mind?
I am fortunate enough to be able to, at least somewhat, put those things out of my mind. 90% of the time, I have no clue how I am going to go about getting what I want...nor do I have full confidence in the fact that what I want today is what I will want tomorrow...or weeks, months, or years from now. But I know I am resilient, so I will always recover. I know I am a good person, so if the object of my desire is a person, and those desires change, I will treat that person with the appropriate amount of care and respect. I know I take good care of myself, so I will not desire things to the point of hurting myself over them. Also, I know my priorities...and just because I have to sideline something for a bit to accomplish other goals, it does not mean I am a failure. Well, not usually, anyway.
So, with that preface, and after hours and hours of staring at the walls in luscious aloneness...here is the list of things I feel like I need to change in my life:
1. Movement - this one appears on all of my lists forever. At this point in my life, I tend to gravitate towards stillness. The kids and I need to move more often.
2. Environment - it really is time for me to work on the physical environment of my immediate surroundings.
3. Intention - More planning is necessary for me to accomplish all of the things I want to do.
4. Alignment - I need to work on aligning my actions with my ideals.
5. Integrity - This goes along with alignment. Too often, I think especially when I am not planning ahead, things get fragmented and I don't accomplish what I set out to accomplish.
6. Constant connection with my creative self, and an outlet for that creation - None of this "the kids interfere with my creative life" bullshit. They need to be included. I have plenty of time to create when they are asleep or I am away from them. I don't need to worry about being time-limited so much.
7. Community - Damnit, as much as I have loved the solitude, I need to be more active in my community...of friends, and on the whole.
8. Education - Both the kids and mine. We need to continue to create opportunities for learning and trying new things...even if we sometimes fail miserably.
***
There are actual activities that go with these actions. For one thing, to handle the issues of movement, environment, creativity, community, and education...as well as integrity, I am going to work with the kids to clean up our landscaping and create some nice garden spots in our yard...a little at a time. And document our progress in some sort of creative way as we haphazardly take on this project together.
In terms of community...I have often had the idea that I should start doing my monthly potlucks again. I get so freaked out about large numbers of people in my house, though...so I think I really just need to put forth a good effort towards inviting friends over to make food with me and have more intimate dinner gatherings more often. I have been saying this forever...but I think it's really time for me to make good on it. Sometimes it feels so freaking overwhelming to have to live my life AND to have to socialize with the people who make my life worth living (not to mention possible, because in a lot of cases, these people are providing me with a good bit of support, and they deserve to be catered to on occasion!) If I plan it, I can make it work.
In terms of my personal creative life, I think I am in a good place with that. I have several outlets and a wonderful creative partner who inspires me. I feel very lucky and I have no desire to mess with that other than to just keep things going.
I will be thinking about more of this stuff later...as the day progresses, I will slowly formulate a plan. The kids will be home tonight, all bubbly and no longer tired of their tired old mama, who herself will not be tired to receive them. We will hug and bubble over and read and kiss goodnight, and tomorrow morning, we will embark upon a new season together, with new ideas, new rhythms, new habits and patterns...and renewed love and appreciation for our little life together.
<3
----------------
Now playing: Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds - Nobody's Baby Now
via FoxyTunes
Monk and the Constitution
July 18, 2007
Monk declared chores unconstitutional today. He was so excited after reading this little pocket version of the constitution and declaration of independence that he CALLED ME to tell me that he wouldn't be doing his chores anymore because it is "involuntary servitude."
When I replied that I would no longer be buying his groceries under that same amendment, he insisted that parenthood is voluntary. HA! So I told him if he didn't want to do his chores, he could, instead, write a 5 page essay on the constitution...and that's NOT involuntary servitude, it's COMPULSORY EDUCATION.
:P
Lessons learned on my vacation
March 26, 2007
I assume this will be added to throughout the week, but here goes...
Lessons I have learned while traveling with the kids:
Necessary Hotel Amenities: indoor pool, in-room refrigerator, in-room coffee maker, television with cable. Beds? Optional. (Coley ended up sleeping on the floor both nights after falling out of the bed the first hour of the first night.)
Kids Eat Free means you have to choose from a very unhealthy menu and you still end up paying for it.
No matter how subtle the incline, if there is grass, the kids will find an excuse to roll around in it.
You actually can skin your face, if you are Coley.
There is nothing cuter than a pair of giant river otters...except maybe a whole mess of penguins.
Evidently, I am attractive to parrots.
Always always always eat a meal before going to the art museum.
Never bring your fragile-egoed 6-year old aspiring artist into a gallery of youth artwork. He WILL fall on the floor and cry about how he will NEVER be that good...and he wants to go home NOW.
If you are at a truck stop rest room, and the boys have to use the bathroom, better to bring them in the ladies room than chew your fingernails while you watch countless seedy-looking men stream into the restroom you just sent your boys into.
No matter how much you spend and how much effort you exert, the boys will talk endlessly about how great the hotel was (and the swimming pool) (and the cable television) and not mention anything else. You can count this as a victory. You did, after all, choose the hotel.
Also, three days after arriving home, when you spend a simple day at the park and get stuck in the rain and your impossible to please 6 year old tells you "This day was more funner than most other days." Don't take it personally. Just smile, and nod in agreement...and muse over his ability to stay in the present.
Vaginas and Bong Hits (for Jesus)
March 23, 2007
Just happened to stumble upon two school-related free-speech issues & thought I should link them up here:
On Monday, March 19th, the Supreme Court of the United States heard oral arguments in the case informally known as "Bong Hits 4 Jesus."High school student Joseph Frederick was subjected to school suspension for his display of a homemade banner while standing across the street from school property, albeit during normal school hours.
While initial court rulings held in favor of the Juneau, Alaska school district, the Ninth Circuit Court reversed in favor of Frederick.
The Ninth Circuit determined that the school district did not have the right to unduly restrict the public demonstration by Frederick when he elected to unfurl and display his 14-foot banner with the words, "Bong Hits 4 Jesus."
The school district appealed to the Supreme Court.
BONG HITS 4 JESUS IS ABOUT FREE SPEECH, NOT DRUGS via Brenda Stardom, see also News From the Sandbox.
he initial suspensions resulted after the students knowingly went against administrators' wishes and said the word "vagina" on Friday night at an open mic session sponsored by the high school literary magazine Reflections.School administrators had asked the students to either not read the monologue or to omit the stanza in which the word "vagina" appeared, saying the word would be inappropriate for younger members of the audience who were expected to be in attendance.
But the students went ahead and together finished the line: "I declare these streets, any streets, my vagina's country."
Suspension postponed for students who said 'vagina' via Fetch Me My Axe see also Susie Bright. (Funny, I totally also responded to that article with a desire to run into the nearest school and yell "Vagina!!!!")
Why We Banned Legos
March 1, 2007
"Why We Banned Legos" is an article in a magazine I subscribe to called Rethinking Schools. I wish the article was accessible online without fee, but unfortunately it is not, so I will attempt to summarize it here.
Basically, a group of teachers in an after school program at a school in Washington State were struck by the social dynamics surrounding the construction of a Lego town. They found that kids were excluding other kids and hording "cool pieces" in an insidious way that wasn't always vocally objected to (in fact, many of the excluded kids seemed resigned to exclusion, in spite of the fact that they later proved that they wished to participate and did not know how to break through the invisible wall). So, the teachers banned the Legos and created a unit study to examine the issues of wealth, power, privilege, and inclusion with their students (ages 5-9).
The original article goes on to describe a fascinating and well-organized exploration of this concept designed by the teachers. Students were asked to voice their opinions about property rights, ownership, and power...and they examined those opinions by taking field trips and playing games that were geared towards helping the children question the notion that power can somehow be benign and that really brought the idea of meritocracy into sharp focus for these children.
However, the reinterpretation of this article is somewhat staggering and reveals much about how strongly we want to protect the idea that the capitalist system of meritocracy. An article was sent to a homeschooling list I subscribe to that basically completely misinterprets the lesson in such a way that it could only have been intentional. I responded to the article thusly:
I suggest you read the actual article on which this editorial is based before leaping to the conclusion that the crafters of this lesson were in any way advocating that landowners be stripped of their property rights so big businesses can have them. I have this issue, and I have only skimmed the article, but I find the article below to be grossly slanted and inaccurate.[...]
In fact, now that I think about it...it would be a really good homeschooling lesson on media to read this editorial and then go back and read the actual article about the lesson to note the evident slant of the editorialist.
Of course, the response to this was to skip right to communism. One of my fellow listmates said, basically, that while he believed the article wasn't supporting the usurpation of property by big business, he did feel that the lesson was promoting communism, to which I replied:
I imagine the responses on this list will also be useful in a study of media, as well as individual responses to the media. It is interesting to me that Brad has immediately decided that the only possible system of shared wealth is communism, and therefore declared any questioning of how property rights are handled in our society to be answered before they are even asked.I think critical thinking would encouage children to experiment with several alternative methods of creating equity, and from what I have read in the original article, it looks like that is exactly what the children were encouraged to do.
Of course, all of that was before I actually read the article. hahaha. I had skimmed it, but had not had time to sit down and read it. Later that night, I did so, and found the lesson to be quite well-planned and executed, and nothing at all like it had been described by the author of the editorial linked above. So, this morning when I found another response that insisted the lesson was an insidious method of brainwashing our children to accept the tenets of communism (evil, evil communism!) I responded:
If you read the article, you would find that property rights were a very minute portion of the lesson. The main objective of the lesson was to encourage egalitarian and inclusive behavior among the children, while at the same time exploring the larger issues of power and privilege. Also, there was a lot of discussion and insight in the article about how we tend to assume that power is benign if it is not misused in such a way that would spark verbal protest. There was a really interesting portion of the lesson where arbitrary point values were applied to legos (to mirror how privilege based on skin color, family of origin, and other factors give some of us an unearned advantage over others), and those who "won" were allowed to make rules for the next round of the game.Additionally, there is a huge leap from discussing equitable sharing of resources by a community and stripping individuals of rights to give them to corporations. The point of the experiment, and I think the objective of a communal social order (of which communisim is ONE example), is to distribute wealth and power in such a way that all members of society have an opportunity to participate. Perhaps we haven't seen such a social order yet in our lifetimes, but I am not sure why anyone would object to exploring how power and privilege operate in our society to give unearned advantage to some and undeserved disadvantage to others.
Later, someone equated the lesson with that urban legend that has a child skipping to school with all of her wonderful school supplies, only to get there and find that she is FORCED to dump her supplies in a communal bucket and comes away with *gasp* INFERIOR CRAYONS! Evidently, those individuals who send their children to public school to mix with the masses are very indignant about this concept of forced sharing. I gotta say, if you hate it so much, keep yr kids home. You won't hear me complaining about the taxes I am forced to share with the school district in spite of the fact that I have chosen to not participate. We LIVE in a society. We all benefit from its resources, and those resources include the other people in our communities. If you can't bear the thought of your child going to school and sharing his or her crayons, honey, I dunno what to tell you! At any rate, my response to the idea that "social engineering" was overtaking our schools was this:
That would be an interesting thing to discuss, but it does not have anything to do with the redistribution of legos that were already assumed to be a shared resource. I am curious how you think this experiment, and the exploration into how power and resources are shared, is equivalent to social engineering, and yet the very world we live in and are shaped by is not.In fact, I think that's an interesting thing to think about. Do we all just assume that the way we live and the society we are shaped by is natural? And therefore any attempt to question and/or reorganize the order of things is somehow unnatural, or "engineered?"
And then I decided to explore further, and read a discussion about a reaction to the article (there is very little actual reading of the article in any of this. Mostly, people were just responding to the slanted reactions to the article, which led many to believe that the teachers noted that students were not behaving appropriately and therefore they simply yanked the legos away in a reactive manner, rather than the actual reality that the teachers got together and planned a very sophisticated lesson surrounding the removal and subsequent reestablishment of lego privileges, which encouraged the children to examine the issues of ownership, power, inclusion, and equity.
Boy, do I ever NOT have my finger on the pulse of America. What I read on this board shocked me. People are actually decrying the lesson these teachers were attempting to teach, and basically saying "children will be children" and therefore should not be encouraged to examine the power dynamics that come into play when groups of children exclude other children. In fact, I imagine that many of the people on that board believe that it's probably preferable that children learn to grab what is theres without considering how their unearned privilege influences their "rights" of ownership.
While I realize there are many within the public school system who are trying desperately to counteract this idea that the distribution of wealth and resources in this country is somehow equitable and meritocratic, I am frankly somewhat appalled by the response to this article by people who are allegedly parents of children. Are there really that many people who are so opposed to their children learning that perhaps our system is less equitable than those in positions of privilege would lead you to believe that they need to demonize an earnest attempt to point out the inherent inequities of our system and work with children to combat those inequities in the classroom?
Obviously I am in total support of any curriculum which moves our children towards examining "rights" that are essentially extensions of unearned privilege. I am concerned, however, that this is such a controversial thing to stand for. If we can't even address these issues with something so benign as Legos without a firestorm of opposition, how on earth do we address global poverty, hunger, and health care crises?
They Never Stop Learning.
February 25, 2007
Coley crawled into my bed at 4 in the morning, complaining of a sick stomach. I was wary, not wanting to wake up to a vomity bed, but I welcomed him anyway.
A minute later, he was running for the toilet and retching. I rubbed his back...got him some water...and it was back to bed.
Snuggling in, Coley put his arms around my neck. "I love you, mama" he said, paused, then asked "Mom? How does barf come up?"
How Children Learn
December 12, 2006
Coley finished lunch early today, after deciding he was going to make a map of "porta-potty land" after lunch. He was far too excited about the creation of this imaginary domain to sit still a minute longer, and so he set about gathering implements of drawing while Monk and I lingered over our bean tacos.
It wasn't long before the Bird (as he is less formally known around these parts) became exquisitely frustrated.
"I CAN'T DRAW A FREAKING SQUARE!" he lamented.
"Try again, Coley. It's really not very easy for anyone to draw a perfect square."
So he tried again, and so he became more frustrated, the tears welling in his eyes as his pitch began to rise "I'M TOO STUPID TO DRAW A SQUARE!"
It was Monk who came to the rescue first.
"I know how to draw a square, Coley. Let me show you. You just make an X, like so, and then connect the lines, like these. See? Even *I* can't draw a perfect square."
Coley tried Monk's X technique and failed miserably in his own mind. The X-squares just didn't measure up to his idea of perfection.
"I HATE squares" Harumphed the bird (a sentiment that made me chuckle). "I'm going to draw TRIANGLES instead."
You could practically SEE the lightbulb click on over Monk's head. "Cole! You silly...you can draw a square by drawing two TRIANGLES...like so."
And so it came to pass that the children learned geometry over bean tacos.
All hail porta-potty land! Where the potties are square by virtue of triangulation!
Cast Adrift
October 5, 2006
Being someone who has somewhat out-of-the-mainstream personal and political ideals sometimes presents critical challenges. For one thing, it takes a fuck of a long time to find people who have similar ideals with whom to cultivate community. Not that I can't cultivate community with dissimilar folks, but there are certain ideals that I hold that REQUIRE a certain amount of "on-the-same-page"ism in order for a relationship to work.
However, it is also true that being outside of the mainstream in political and personal ideals presents logistical challenges which frequently lead to the necessity of compromising those ideals in the name of sanity...or at least convenience. Which is totally understandable to me, but nevertheless disconcerting when close friends become victims of necessity.
I woke up the other day and suddenly realized the community I worked hard to cultivate has disappeared - or at least shifted dramatically. I spent about a day this week in crisis mode, wondering where the fuck I was going to find like-minded folks to recreate some measure of what I have lost...not to mention the time to do that. I have to admit, I started to feel somewhat hopeless about the whole thing, wanting to just say FUCK IT ALL. Why DO I always choose the difficult things? Is it stubbornness on my part, or is it a sincere desire to enact change through the little bit of personal activism I am capable of participating in?
It was M who pulled me out. I went to pick up her son for our daily routine, and I mentioned this shift in ideal of our other, mutualish friend. I told M I was feeling somewhat cast adrift by the whole thing. She looked at me and asked flat out whether I was considering the same shift. "No! No...absolutely not." and then she said, simply "Well, we won't abandon you, Lainie. We are in this together."
I know it sounds incredibly cheesy, but wow, did that ever knock me on my ass. I almost cried. Yes, I have abandonment issues that extend to my political beliefs. hahaha. But, also...just having someone fill a need with the perfect words was like having a life preserver tossed to me. Granted, there is a long rope on that sucker, and it will take some time for me to find my way all the way back to the boat...but perhaps along the way I will pick up others who have been cast adrift and we can all get reeled back in together.
And, so it is. This constant ebb and flow. This everlasting shifting of friends, perspectives, ideology. It has always been this way, and probably always will be. I just have to remind myself that I never have had to tread water for very long, and even if I do - I am a fucking strong swimmer and I can do any god damn thing I want.
So, um, just out of curiosity...are there any austin area homeschoolers who are somewhat freakish and way left on the political spectrum who might want to help me rebuild my battered community? I'm currently accepting applications.
(I should add that this shift in my friends' ideology - or at least practice - has in no way altered my love for them...it has just presented certain logistical challenges to our relationships that weren't there previously. I totally understand the decisions that have been made, and they have absolutely nothing to do with me, personally. They are decisions that have been made for good reasons, and I totally support those decisions.)
Snappy answers to stupid questions...
August 20, 2006
Redneck Mother posted about awkward conversations that can arise from the seemingly universal question of "and what grade are YOU in."
My initial response when people question why we homeschool is "Because I'm an anarchist" - which usually shuts people up. No one wants to know more about being an anarchist. If they were to ask what being an anarchist means to me (which no one ever has. hahahah) I would probably say something sassy like "It means whatever you want it to mean."
But I just thought of another smart ass remark to the "why aren't your kids in school" question. I could say something like "Because if I sent them to school, I could no longer threaten to send them to school when they piss me off."
I mean, seriously...if I sent my kids to school, I might have to start going to church just so I could threaten them with the prospect of eternal damnation!
It's totally a slippery slope, man!
Lunchtime Math
August 10, 2006
I am really impressed with the level of math cognition Coley has been demonstrating lately. I know his brother always amazed me, but somehow I feel like we have been selling Coley short in the brains department. Not that we weren't aware that he had a certain amount of intellect, but I have always found him to be more verbally/physically expressive than logically.
However, today, he blew me away.
Cole: What's 4500 plus 4500 (This is a game we like to play)
Me: 9000
Monk: No! It's nine HUNDRED (Monk has been kind of a misdirected know-it-all lately)
Me: No...It is 9000. 450+450 is 900; 45+45 is 90; 4.5+4.5 is 9...etc.
Cole: Yeah, Monk! (sibling rivalry) Besides, 4500 plus 4500 CAN'T be 900!
Me: Why? (Hoping and praying that he is about to say what I think he is about to say)
Cole: Because 4500 is MORE than 900.
I think this is HUGE concept for a five year old to grasp, and I'm very pleased that he gets it. So, we went on to discuss sums of different numbers, increasing them by tens and hundreds and noting the relationships. And then Coley holds up a tiny bite of pizza next to a big slice of pizza and says:
Cole: What is this plus that, mom?
Me: Well, they aren't like terms, so you can't really add them together like that.
Cole: Yeah...it's just tiny piece and big slice
Me: Right. Like, you can't add a dog and a cat. If you have a cat plus a cat, you have two cats...but if you have a dog and a cat, you have one dog and one cat...or maybe two pets.
Cole: Yeah!
Me: Or, like, a car plus a tree is...?
Monk: Not a good combination.
Hahahaha.
Yeah. This is the kind of stuff I need to be paying attention to. It fills me up. Ah.
Take the Children Bowling. Take them Bowling.
August 5, 2006
I have decided that I am going to do a P.E. unit with my children on BOWLING. What fun! We went bowling yesterday for the first time in a long time and, well, basically...I SUCK, but I have a wonderfully good time sucking, and the kids seem to enjoy it, too. Even Monk, with his "I can't be happy unless I am winning even though I am not at all interested in learning HOW to actually bowl with any sort of technique and basically I just roll the ball all willy nilly down the lane without really thinking about it" attitude. hahahaha. He was getting all raw and emotiony about everything and I finally had to throw up my hands and say "Listen, dude. I don't know what I can say to actually help you through this...so you just let me know if there's anything I can do. In the meantime, I am just buttoning my lip and enjoying me some fun bowling."
Then there's Coley who bowled one game and got "tired."
And P, our guest bowler, who is a 5-year old jock extraordinaire. He beat me the first game! Of course, he had bumpers and I didn't...but in the words of my smartass sidekick "your superior adult skills should beat out bumpers"...so I beat him in the second game, but BARELY. and, really...the bumpers only came into play for him every once in awhile. That kid can throw a freaking bowling ball! He just gets up there on that line and gives it a good send off and the pins just all seem to bow down to his awesomeness. hahahaha. I admit to feeling pangs of regretful jealousy over his talent. And I think I mistakenly said "Well, it is clear that our family just lacks the jock gene." which only served to piss Monk off more.
So, yeah. In the interest of teaching the children a lesson in "practice makes perfect" or, at least "practice makes one a lot less sucky" I am instituting a weekly or maybe bi-weekly bowling tournament. We will track our scores. Maybe make charts to see if we are improving. We will read books about bowling technique. Talk about the science of bowling. Figure out how in fuck to score a game (we rely so much on that silly computer to do all of that for us). Practice. Practice. Practice. And measure where we are at the beginning vs. where we end up.
I think it's going to be a fun time....if I can endure Monk's pissiness. hahaha.
Chess Lessons
July 31, 2006
Some days are just too easy. Today...Monk has decided to give Coley a chess lesson. Which means mama gets to sit back, relax, and enjoy the next hour or so.
He's a good teacher, too. At one point, Coley said "Monk, I didn't hear what you just said. I was paying attention, but I just didn't get it."
Monk replied, gently "Pay as close attention as possible, cole."
Then, Monk stopped reading about the history of chess and whipped out his chessboard. Coley said "I am ready to rock and rolllllll!"
What great kiddos they are.
A good explanation of the solstice & seasons
June 21, 2006
We have had many questions this morning about the solstice. This site answers many of them. Yay! Free stuff on the internet!
My Mad Scientist.
May 9, 2006
The boys had a doctor's appointment this afternoon, so I was trying to keep them on task in the morning so we didn't have to waste the whole day for one appointment, which is what happens a lot...too much...around these parts.
Monk had this idea in his head to do a science experiment involving flammable liquids. I was dubious about the possibility of setting liquids on fire in my kitchen, but I let him lead the way. My first mistake was to mention the scientific method to Monk, and let him know that there are certain things scientists do to ensure their experiments are done correctly. He wanted to quit once I tried to apply my fascist laws to his whimsical "setting things on fire" project...so I chilled out. I was just like "Look, all I'm saying is it's a good idea to think about the experiment and try to guess what will happen based on what you are doing. He stopped being all floppy after that, and directed me to the tools he would need.
What he wanted to do, basically, was set a candle on fire and douse it with water to see if the water would catch on fire. It didn't work, so I started to look up other experiements we could do with fire on the internet. Monk was pissed. He didn't want to do an experiment someone ELSE has already thought of...he wanted to do his OWN experiment and discover something NO ONE ELSE has discovered yet. I felt empathy for the little dude, but...I mean...we were working in a KITCHEN with a candle and an old jelly jar. I offered to try to set up a field trip with a chemistry teacher at UT and see what we could uncover that way. No. That wasn't good enough. He stalked off to his room and shut the door so he could collapse in a frustrated, mopey heap on his bed.
I followed after him. "Look, Monk." I said. "You have my full attention for at least the next 30 minutes. I have an idea! Why don't we take three strips of paper: douse one in water, one in oil, and leave one dry...and see which one burns fastest."
Monk said "I would have done that if YOU hadn't thought of it!"
*sigh* "OK, bud. I'm going to just leave you in here for a little while, and when you think of a good experiment, we can do it."
He came out 5 minutes later "Why don't we set a jar of oil on fire."
We tried it. Armed with baking soda (Lesson #1: I got to explain how oil fires spread when you try to put them out with water. I even showed him how oil and water don't mix, and explained that fire needs oxygen and baking soda smothers the fire) we tossed a lit match into a jar of vegetable oil. The oil doused the flame before it caught fire.
"You know, Monk..." I said. "I have set oil on fire in this house, but I had to burn it really bad, first." We tried heating up the oil in a boiling pot of water to see if we could safely approximate hot oil. Nope. Nothing doing. (Lesson #2: Using a double boiler to heat up a liquid without burning or scorching it)
So, we resorted to the internet, where we learned that the boiling point of oil is up to 5 times higher than the boiling point of water. We learned that oil actually starts to smoke and becomes dangerous long before it boils or burns. We learned that it would be much more painful to be boiled in oil than it would be to be boiled in water. We learned why foods that are boiled in water have a different texture than foods that are fried in oil.
It is amazing how many lessons we learn in failure. I think THAT was the most important lesson of them all.
I am the evil homeschooling overlord
April 13, 2006
mwahahahahahahaha.
So, Monk and I have been studying classification for science. And I hit upon the perfect multi-purpose project for him to complete at the end of the unit. He's going to rearrange the refrigerator, pantry, recycling, or pots and pans into some semblance of sensicalness.
Considering he is the one who puts away the groceries and the dishes, and frequently does so in that typical "I am a 9-year old, and I will just throw everything in all willy-nilly without any thought for useful order" fashion, I figure this will serve at least 4 different purposes.
Is that evil of me, or what?
Near Perfect Days
April 11, 2006
I think, as much as I have enjoyed the company of my guest families over the past few months, I hadn't really taken into account how disruptive it is to have several thousand children in the house all of the time. These past few days here have been nearly perfect. I have been able to plan our week, and have had things go off without a hitch and with no disruptions or chaotic interventions.
Of course, the variable here is that I don't seem to be watching anyone else's kids these days. Due to some interesting developments in my work and social life, I have not had to rely on other people for childcare as much...and therefore I haven't had as many people relying on me. While it's nice to not have unplanned interruptions during the day, I think I can bear to have one or two playdates a week in the house without messing the schedule up entirely. It's something I want to work on...making sure people know that I am available...and WHEN I am available.
That said, I'm really happy with the little rhythm we have going lately. The daily rhythm is gentle and fluid, and our weekly rhythm involves a really good balance of inside the house/outside the house time...as well as plenty of time to keep the place somewhat neat and organized, and to keep us engaged in learning activities all day long, whether I am facilitating those activities or not. Plus there's just more face time with my kids. I can have conversations with them, and truly hear what THEY have to say, without anyone interrupting or battling for inclusion.
It's nice. I want to say that I prefer to live collectively...that the experience of having multiple families/children in this house proved to be a really desirable situation. I can't say that it COULDN'T be, but I think in the end there needs to be a lot more commitment and planning and desire to make it work long-term than could have been feasibly nurtured in the limited time I had with the families I shared this home with. I want to blame that, or space, or perhaps even compatibility to some extent. Either way, whatever the reason, I'm totally content in this house without other children living here. I might try it again...and in an emergency, I WOULD do it again...but for right now I don't think I want to mess with that balance.
What the 9-year old knows about immigration reform
April 11, 2006
Since I'm a total goob and missed the Day of Action entirely, I figured the very least I could do was read some news stories about the important events of the last couple of days to the children as our morning circle reading material. I read this one first:
The crowds at many of the protests also cheered speakers who denounced a system that has driven more than 11 million illegal immigrants into shadowy lives of subterfuge, and who called for a new deal that would extend basic rights to them and a chance of eventual citizenship. Organizers said the protests would not stop until Congress passed laws to improve their lives.Much of the anger yesterday and at the protests in recent weeks was directed at a bill passed by the House of Representatives last December. It would have authorized a 700-mile fence along the Mexican border; raised the crime of illegal immigration to a felony; and criminalized giving assistance, including food and water, to illegal immigrants.
After I read that article, I went to move on to another. Monk stopped me. "I get the picture, mom," he said.
"OK," I replied. "What do you think?"
That's a scary question for a parent. Asking what your child thinks, especially when at least attempting to run somewhat of an egalitarian household, opens you up to a world of shit. I want to support and encourage their honest opinions, but there is always a part of me that wants to guide the thoughts into "correctness."
Thankfully, Monk has played enough computer-simulated war games to know where it's at.
"I think that people should just be checked over briefly to make sure they aren't criminals, then we should exchange their money, then maybe offer some basic english classes, and that's it."
At that point, I attempted to play devil's advocate with him, but he stood firm. "Like the article said, mom...we're all immigrants."
I asked him what he thought of borders, and he said that borders were too much work (!) (my little anarchist!) and that they only served a purpose during war. So I asked him if maybe he thought borders might CAUSE war.
He said Yes.
"One time, when I was playing Civilization IV, Ghandi and I were always at war over our borders because I wanted to maintain my territory, and Ghandi wanted to expand. It was never ending. Borders are dumb. People should live where they want to."
How Homeschooling Works
March 27, 2006
I had the distinct pleasure last night of waiting in line for TWO FREAKING HOURS with two school teachers. They were both interested in how homeschooling works, as were the women I assembled for my cooperative.
It's been awhile since I've had to think about homeschooling. Right now, I'm regrouping a bit with Monk. I'm debating the whole idea of memorization - especially as it pertains to multiplication tables. Monk multiplies by adding, and he's pretty fast, but it's causing some trouble now that we are working on division. I feel like I need to put the brakes on math a bit until I can figure out a good way to really present division so that it makes sense to him. I feel like he's just getting by, and I want him to understand the concept fully. So, we're focusing on other things. Like Philosophy (we're reading The Tao of Pooh, after which I plan to read The House at Pooh Corner) and science and, as always, reading reading reading.
Today was a perfect homeschooling day. The kids played "their own version" of some board games we have, and then we went to the grocery store where, not only did they get some practice weighing items and comparing weights and units of measure, but they also initiated a ton of interesting conversations. It was raining, so Monk thought to ask about friction, especially as it pertains to cars. He pointed out that in the Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy there were frictionless cars, and we talked a little bit about what would happen if there was no friction in the world. Coley asked who invented the car. These are all such great questions, and when I came home, I found a number of websites geared towards answering them. I'm hoping we can get a chance to do some of the experiments on the sites that I found, in addition to reading about this stuff while I have their interest. It changes so quickly to other things.
I also discovered that Monk knows that things/people from Holland are Dutch ("because of the Pirate game, mom...see, computer games ARE educational") and that Buffalo Wings come from Buffalo. It's just funny that they pick these little things up. They seem like really small details, but they are significant to me. I guess it's just proof that I don't have to be the educator of all things. That they pick these things up in various places, without me telling them what is and is not important.
Rethinking Schools
February 23, 2006
Not to be confused with rethinking education, Rethinking Schools Online is a resource for schoolteachers and homeschoolers alike. They have some really interesting alternative curriculum, including Rethinking Mathematics, which weaves concepts of social justice through a math curriculum. I'll be ordering from their catalog for my upcoming "school" semester. They just have so much cool stuff, I'm going to have a difficult time narrowing down my selection!
Rethinking education conference
February 22, 2006
I'm thinking about registering for this...
Rethinking Education ConferenceYou are cordially and enthusiastically invited...
....to attend the 10th National Conference on
Rethinking Education, to take place at the devine Sheraton Grand Hotel in Irving, Texas on Labor Day Weekend,
Thursday, August 31 - Monday, September 4, 2006.
We have been working hard and are so excited about our inspiring, transformational and fun program.
Is anyone else planning to go?
Hey everyone, can you help with some science homework
February 2, 2006
Monk needs to make a table to chart the answers to these questions:
- What is/was your favorite school cafeteria food?
- What is your shoe size?
I need at least 10 answers! Help!
Unschooling on CNN
January 30, 2006
Did anyone watch the CNN segment on Unschooling last night? Did anyone happen to tape it? How badly did they hack it?
Judging from this article, it could have gone either way.
carnival of homeschooling blogs
January 9, 2006
Not enough energy to read, but just enough energy to link to The Carnival of Homeschooling: week 1.
Enjoy. I'm going to crawl into bed and sleeeeeeeeeep.
Anderson's Aqua
January 3, 2006
Here's a story that coley just wrote. You are only getting about 5% of the experience without the pictures, but I still think it's really cute.
Anderson's Aqua
By Cole Sequoia Lark D. L. (age 5)
Once upon a time
Anderson's old ship has been sold.
He bought a new ship with "X" flags because, of course, that's the signal of English.
British
The British invented stone, wood, and rubber
Russian
Russians made true casteles, palaces, and houses
Samurais
Samurais were very good. Samurais had two swords and were very good at attacking.
English
The English were very good and they also were gooder than the French.
Villagers
Villagers could make temples and all sorts of buildings, but they couldn't forge stone. They could only forge gold and silver.
Soldiers
Soldiers could just be really good. they could attack, fight, and do all sorts of stuff.
Mountains
You can make mountains in scenarios, but that's all.
Bushes
Bushes can be very good at forging with.
Canadians
Canadians only had spears. I don't know why.
The end.
The next page
November 8, 2005
Coley has written a new page to his poem. This page is about the Fuedal age, he says. Evidently, *HE* is aware of my favorite lines in his last poem:
This story is coming true
The dungeon has closed
as god, once again, says "bullshit."
And then - insert sound effect once again
The remainnig living falls asleep
And the dead arises
Anderson*, however, is on horseback
And the sewer comes to life.
Choose your fate
Ice - or - Fire.
Coley's Fall Poem
November 8, 2005
*note: Coley doesn't know how to read, so he was trying to make a fall poem from his memory of our autumn word brainstorming sessions. He evidently spent a lot of time with his friend, Paper Mario, last weekend, as well. Anyway, here it is. I'll let you guess what my favorite lines were:
Paper Mario
Death arises
on the cinammon
corn-on-the-cob
Bicycles arise from the dead
And the god says "Bullshit."
And suddenly, a row of horsemen
run ahead
And then, our foot soldiers
come on, and try to kill them.
And after that
a person named Mario came
and defeated some skeleton troopers.
And then the dungeon arises
(insert sound effects)
And then Mario comes in the sewer.
The darkness arises once again.
The end of the story of Paper Mario.
The Educational is Political
November 4, 2005
Does Homeschooling have to be political?:
Homeschooling is perceived as a threat by The most powerful interest groups in our society: the educational establishment. That's conventional schools, teachers unions, textbook publishers, educational software people. Now that's a giant you don't want to upset. Really, we didn't mean to waken it. We just wanted to quietly homeschool our kids, just follow our principles and beliefs and let other people follow theirs. Isn't America the land of the free? Shouldn't we be able to do this? But upset the giant we did, big time!In addition, some individuals find homeschooling unsettling. Some teachers, parents, and grandparents don't realize children can learn without attending a conventional school. Some people who believe schools are part of the melting pot fear homeschoolers will undermine this. Some skeptics don't trust parents and claim homeschooled children will be isolated and hidden from public view. Some supporters of public schools fear that homeschooling will deprive public schools of necessary funds or of some of the best students and strongest families.
In other words. Yes. Or else.
word orgy
October 25, 2005
While I'm on the subject of words...isn't the word "liver" kind of cool? It's sort of like the human equivalent to the "starter" of a car. A word that you use so commonly that the banality of its literal meaning becomes submersed in itself, and makes it sound almost exotic.
Think about it. Your liver. It keeps you alive. The starter. You know, the thing that starts the car. It's just delightful!
The other activity I'm pursuing with the kids this week is this weird sub/super-language that is suggested in the first level of the Writing Strands curriculum. It's really fun. You basically just come up with even more common terms for things. Like, I just told Monk to wipe his snot-producer with a face-washer. And to put my cup of jump-starter on the level surface near the water-dispenser. Soon, we will get into our people-mover and make motion towards the liver-inner of our play-people.
Language is so. freaking. fun!
Poetry
October 25, 2005
I'm re-reading _A Celebration of Bees_ & it put me in the mood to try doing poetry with the children again. Coley picked up poetry awhile back, and went through a spate of poem-writing that was actually delightful. Monk is a harder sell.
What I have done is tacked two large sheets of posterboard on the wall. The theme of our first poem is "autumn." The children have been asked to "gather words" to put on our posterboards, and we are building the list throughout the week. I try to riff off of them a bit - we work with the five senses, and then I ask them to think of other words that go with the words they select. For instance, when Monk says "rough" in response to my question of "how does fall feel?" I ask him, "what other things are rough?" And a huge array of random-seeming words burst forth onto our sheet.
It's amazing how inspiring it is to see this list of words, and makes me consider story-boarding my writing more. I am seeing, right now: "Frozen rake" "chipmunks shuffle sticks" "chocolate voices, burning leaves" "acorns chirp, kittens falling" "red doves migrate" etc, etc.
At the end of the week, we will take all of our words and arrange them into poetry. The kids were both unenthused at first - with that "Oh, great...she's at it again" kind of attitude they get when I try to engage them in a newish activity - but now, they seem to be more and more excited each time we head to the word-board for a 5-10 minute session. Which makes me think that I need to be more persistent with some of the other things I try.
I will definitely post whatever we come up with. We'll probably work on these word-board poems for awhile before I start the next chapter of Esbensen's delightful book.
Save/Share/Spend
October 13, 2005
Julee posted about dividing allowances in thirds & I was so smitten with the picture of the moneybox she posted that I googled Moonjar to find a treasure trove of really cool money management tools for kids.
Thanks, Julee!
More gushing about the Decemberists...
October 5, 2005
I'm only writing this because I feel the need to mitigate the creepiness of my obsession by exclaming that the children are far more obsessed with this band than I am. Coley woke up this morning, rubbed his eyes, and said "Mom, can we listen to the Decemberists' new CD in this room? Punk rock and songs about love help me to sleep."
Monk's big homeschool project this month and next will be to write interview questions for the band. I'm hoping they will reply & maybe we can get it published somewhere. He has lots of interesting little observations about the lyrics & I think he will come up with great interview questions. (He also wants to know if Lemony Snicket listens to the Decemberists...wouldn't it be cool for him to interview his favorite author AND his favorite band? Maybe we will make interviews a regular project.) Monk's new life goal is to become a video game reviewer (he went for President of the US to video gamER to video game reviewer all in the span of a few months) so I figure this is a good introduction to journalism for him.
A nice gentleman is sending Monk a postcard signed by the band. Monk's all aflutter.
The origins of things.
October 4, 2005
I relearned a valuable lesson today. There was a tearful moment at the breakfast table which resulted in several conversations and culminated in storytelling and discussion & during this entire process I was reminded of something that I stupidly forget over and over and over again & that is that it doesn't matter "who started it."
Because, really, the origins of things tend to run fairly deep, and when you unwind the twisted tangle of blame you ultimately end up where you started...which is usually inside of yourself.
Go figure.
I ended up reading The Mustard Seed, Followed by How The Grinch Stole Christmas
October 4, 2005
(The Grinch was Coley's request) & actually, it was amazing how well these two stories complimented each other. In the middle of the Grinch, I paused and asked the children if the Grinch was looking for a mustard seed when he raided the homes of Whoville. They laughed. I asked what the Grinch was feeling. L said "anger." I read on & M interrupted me and said "Maybe the Grinch is JEALOUS."
Mission accomplished. But even further...what is the Who's place in that jealousy? Where does that jealousy come from? Could it be that jealousy is not the root emotion, but exclusion is the cause? Could the Whos have done more to include the grinch in their celebration? How is the Grinch like the woman in the mustard seed? At the beginning of the Mustard Seed story, they talk briefly about the fact that the woman was disregarded by her community until she had the child - how did that affect her response to the death of the child? Was she excluded as well? How were they ultimately reunited with themselves and their community?
It's amazing how rich things get when you have a group of thoughtful and engaged children to hang out with. Monk wanted to know if maybe Dr. Seuss was a Buddhist. I said "You know, a lot of things that Buddhist stories relate are universal, so they are things that can be revealed and experienced and recounted whether you are a Buddhist or not. I guess in that way, we are all Buddhists."
Yay.
The Consumerist Field Trip
September 30, 2005
Perhaps I'm applying depth to an otherwise shallow endeavor, but today's field trip started to seem more and more like a learning experience the longer we were out and about.
Well, OK, maybe not...but how cool is it that my son spent the day at a record store when most kids his age are in school?
bahahahhaha.
But, seriously...I think we're going to make a habit of this kind of inconvenient spending field trip. Not a necessity? Don't drive to get it. It took us at least an hour to get to the record store, and at least an hour and a half to get back. We actually had to go to two record stores to find Picaresque (although Waterloo had the vinyl version, and I was sorely tempted to shell out the dough for it, but...well I really don't have enough idle cash to start being a record collector.) Granted, we spent money on lunch, but we also spent a great deal of time walking around our fair city and talking about stuff. Coley actually walked the entire time without complaining, which is a miracle...
...and by the same miracle, he didn't plunge to a bloody death when he decided to crawl under a barrier and stand on the edge of a bridge that hangs 20-30 feet over a drainage ditch. Monk and I were walking hand in hand, and I turned around to the shock of NO COLEY. Of course, I did the absolute worst thing you are supposed to do when you realize that it's very possible that the barrier that is meant to keep people from plunging to their bloody death has only served as a delightful challenge to your barrier-busting 4-year old - I screamed. Yeah, that's great, lady! I'm really awesome around tightrope walkers, too.
Thankfully, Coley emerged unscathed and I instantly snatched him up in my arms. He was on the verge of tears anyway - sensing my distress. So I just held him close to me and explained to him, yet again, what barriers are for, and why they need to be acknowledged, respected and obeyed. Later, when I told this story to a horrified Pansy, she had the wisdom to point out that it was horribly illustrative of the way Coley seems oblivious to any sort of boundaries - physical and otherwise - and in fact I had spent most of the bus ride downtown attempting to get him to respect my personal boundaries with regard to not being leaned on and pinched (for those new to the world of Coley, he has a totally annoying habit of pinching on my upper arms that has driven me crazy since he was old enough to pinch and I was awake enough to be driven crazy by it). It's as if Coley exists to defy boundaries, which I'm sure will serve an important function in his life if we can teach him to use his power for good and not (scare and/or annoy mama to death) evil. After that ordeal was over and my heart started beating regularly, I bent down and made sure Coley understood that what he was getting from me was not anger but fear - and how very real the danger was. His little eyes brimmed with tears, and he quavered "I'm sorry, mama." and I said sternly, but gently "Look - don't be sorry...be safe! I love you." Monk responded to the situation by saying "You are SO not getting any lemonade now, Coley" in that sort of taunting exasperated tone that older brothers get when they are trying to disguise that they were a little freaked out, too. Later in the day we encountered a similar bridge with a similar barrier and we talked again about what the barriers were for, and why we don't explore the other side of them. I am really hoping he got the message this time. I mean, the kid is almost five, and he has been running up to the edges of things and scaring the piss out of me ever since he learned to walk. I used to be afraid that I was being overly fearful, but...no. I think he's just under-cautious. Truly. There's a little switch in there that hasn't been flipped, and I'm really worried that it won't GET flipped until he actually hurts himself.
(Of course, part of me is remembering the conversation about "bad parents" from last week and thinking defiantly "Fuck them. Fuck them all. They have no fucking clue what it is like to parent a child like Coley. None.")
In the end, we all survived. We got the CD and all in all we walked about 2 miles or so to and from buses. The kids had a grand old time running up and down the hill at whatever the fuck that park is by the library and across the street from the court house. We got to actually talk to people in the process of commuting and being out and about. Cars are such sterile little capsules. I really wish I had more time to avoid them. And Coley fell fast asleep on the bus on the way home, so we were spared his shenanigans for a scant 30 minutes or so.
When we got home, we listened to Picaresque about a hundred thousand times, Monk did some math and had some computer time, and by the time Steven came to get the kids, we were all quite happily sick to death of each other.
& Believe it or not, I think I'm actually sick of The Decemberists, too.
Or maybe I just need some sleep. Maybe that's it.
not back to school
August 18, 2005
You know, we've been so busy learning and having fun around here, that I totally forgot that this week was the first week of public school. No worries, Redneck mother posted this reminder to the Radical Homeschool Blog
Lots of parents look forward to the beginning of the traditional school year, and I do, too, for my own reasons. With the exception of the annual pool party, it's like any other day for my family, which means it's tailored to our needs, wants and obligations. It's different every year. And because we learn year-round, it's not the start of anything for me except a delicious sense of freedom.We own our time. When it's time to go somewhere -- the dentist, Grandma's house, a vacation -- we don't have to ask permission or work around the school calendar or put it off because of tests. We take road trips in the autumn and spring. The boys don't scarf down lunch before a bell rings. Recess is a meaningless concept to people who spend half their days outdoors.
We actually start our "school" year around the first day of autumn. We have some planning that we are doing in preparation right now. We have definitely been hibernating this summer, and I'm ready to get the kids out and about more, and be more organized. Monk wants to learn how to skateboard, and he wants to get through level 3A in Singapore Math this season. He's also re-learning writing, which I think he's somewhat ashamed of, but I think it will pay off in the end.
Anyway, yeah. I should have realized school started when I heard the Pledge of Allegiance being blared out to our neighborhood over the intercom of the school across the street. We need to get the kites out, so we can lay on our backs in the schoolyard and watch the clouds (and our kites) floating in the sky.
hahahahaha.
Home Education Magazine blogs
August 11, 2005
Home Education Magazine: One of the oldest and most informative homeschooling magazines.
Monk on Crime, morality, and attachments.
August 3, 2005
Monk and I had an interesting conversation today about crime. Monk started the discussion by telling me that he "knew" why people become thieves. "It's because they are too poor to buy things, so they have to steal them."
This sparked a debate between us about morality and thievery and visible vs. invisible crime. I felt like I had to explain to Monk that, although most of the people who are actually convicted of theft are people who are poor, poor people are not necessarily the only people who commit crimes - nor is it true that you are more likely to commit a crime because you are poor.
We talked a bit about drug habits, and how some people who are addicted to drugs and cannot afford to buy the drugs that their bodies need to stave off the pain that comes from withdrawal also commit crimes.
And we talked about Enron and corporate criminals, as well as very basically touching on imperialism and the crimes that have been and are committed in the name of expansion of domain.
Monk is of the opinion that it's not wrong to steal food if you are hungry. I don't know that I can argue against that. In fact, I'm fairly sure I can't. And in determining his moral ethic, we also spent some time talking about how he would feel if someone stole something from him, which led to another discussion about attachments and Buddhism and death and reincarnation and all manner of things.
I think it was in the discussion about attachments (and how suffering frequently arises from change, because we can be attached to situations as much as we are attached to "things"...(and this line of discussion led us to postulate whether life, itself is a "thing")) that Monk decided that breathing was the only thing that was OK to get attached to, because breathing is the only constant in your life...except when you are underwater. I thought this was an amazingly astute observation, and explained to Monk that, in fact, many spiritual rituals revolve around the breath...and perhaps this is why.
It's been an interesting month or so in Monk's development. He has withdrawn a bit from his strictly intellectual pursuits. He balks at doing writing and math more than he used to. However, he seems totally interested in developing a moral/spiritual code of some sort. Today he asked me "What we are" religion-wise. I told him that I'm not anything. That I have beliefs, and that I practice rituals that are not really within the realm of any one specific religious faith...but that I would be happy to facilitate whatever spiritual journey he should want to embark upon. He seemed to accept this answer, but wanted a NAME for his belief system. So, he decided to call it d-lism (his last name, which is a combination of mine and his father's last names).
Sometimes I just look at him, and I think "What on earth is this wise, old, painfully sensitive man doing in the body of this 8-year old boy?" And I am so, so glad for his presence in my life, and for the all the time we are able to spend together having these kinds of conversations.
Priceless.
August 3, 2005
Redneck Mother: Asked and answered
he asked the thorniest question of all as they drove past the adult superstore on the interstate:"Daddy, what does 'X-X-X' mean?"